Only Time Will Tell
by chrmisha
Summary: Sequel to A Midsummer's Journey by Andrian. After spending a summer in seclusion with Remus Lupin, Hermione Granger is faced with a love deeper than she ever thought possible. I do not own Harry Potter or make any money from these stories.
1. Chapter 1

Only Time Will Tell  
By Chrmisha  
  
Summary: After spending a summer in seclusion with Remus Lupin, Hermione Granger is faced with a love deeper than she ever thought possible. Will he still be there to love her back?  
  
A/N: This is a sequel to a Midsummer's Journey by Andrian (located at the Astronomy Tower on Fiction Alley - do a Google search if you aren't sure). Many thanks to Andrian for creating such a wonderful relationship between Hermione and Remus. This was written prior to OotP so Sirius is still alive.

Chapter 1 : Sweet Goodbyes  
  
It was dark when they Apparated at the front gates of Hogwarts. Remus tightened his embrace around Hermione, inhaling her sweet scent, knowing that their time together would soon be over. He kissed the top of her head and laid his cheek gently on her soft brown hair.  
  
"I will miss you, Remus." Her voice was full of tears.  
  
"Hermione, sweet, sweet, Hermione," he said, rocking her gently back and forth in his arms.  
  
"We have to get up to the castle. Professor Dumbledore will be waiting for us." He thought he saw panic flash momentarily in her beautiful, brown eyes but she just nodded and let Remus lead the way.  
  
When they reached the headmaster's office, Hermione stopped. Remus watched as she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and squared her shoulders.  
  
"It'll be okay," Remus said, although he wasn't sure that he spoke the truth.  
  
As the stairs revolved upwards, Hermione grabbed Remus's hand. He squeezed her hand gently, his eyes closed. What had Snape told him? He let go of her hand before they reached the top of the stairs.  
  
The office door swung open and Dumbledore stood to greet them. "Remus, Miss Granger."  
  
Dumbledore looked over them appraisingly as if to verify they hadn't been harmed in their journey. "It is good to see you both doing so well. Please, have a seat."  
  
Hermione nodded, careful not to meet his eyes.  
  
"How was your summer, Miss Granger?"  
  
She blinked. Well, at first it was really awful, and then it got better, and then I fell in love, and then... "Fine, thank you."  
  
"Remus, any problems?"  
  
"Other than the incident in the forest that I've already told you about, no." Remus met his eyes. As well as he could read people, Dumbledore had always been a bit of a mystery. Remus only hoped Dumbledore found him just as unreadable.  
  
"Professor Snape told me of his visit this morning," Dumbledore said calmly.  
  
Hermione's head shot up at the sound of Snape's name.  
  
Remus groaned inwardly; he had been very careful not to react in the slightest to Snape's name, but Hermione had practically come unglued.  
  
Dumbledore shot Hermione a curious glance. "Is there something you'd like to say Miss Granger?"  
  
"No, headmaster," she said quietly, returning her gaze to the floor.  
  
Dumbledore turned his eyes on Remus. This time, there was no mistaking the look in them.  
  
Just then, Hermione's head shot up again. "Yes, yes there is something I'd like to say, Professor."  
  
Dumbledore turned to look at Hermione.  
  
"I– this summer– I did a lot of things this summer that I never thought about doing before."  
  
Like me, Remus thought wryly.  
  
"And I thoroughly enjoyed them."  
  
Oh no, where was this going? Remus thought, holding his breath.  
  
Both men watched her expectantly.  
  
"For instance, Remus, I mean, Professor Lupin, taught me how to defend myself against numerous curses and hexes and I've even managed to conjure somewhat of a Patronus."  
  
Dumbledore nodded as Hermione began to run out of steam.  
  
"I see. Thank you Miss Granger. The others are waiting for you in the Great Hall and I'm sure they will be delighted to see you."  
  
Hermione nodded and took the hint to leave.  
  
An icy silence hung in the air after the door shut. There was no need for words. Sitting in the presence of the greatest headmaster in history was enough to make Remus Lupin want to crawl in a hole and die of shame.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said solemnly, not meeting the headmaster's eyes.  
  
"You're sorry? That's all you have to say for yourself?" Dumbledore was standing now, a cold fury in his eyes. "I trusted you with that girl! My God, Remus, she's just a child! I never thought... you of all people... "  
  
The words of a betrayed man pierced Remus's soul. And just what could he say for himself? Well, headmaster, I really do love her you know. Remus shook his head. You really are a monster, he thought to himself. Who was he ever kidding?  
  
When he'd finally been dismissed, he slipped through the door and closed it behind him, leaning against it with his eyes closed, shaking slightly. His heart was racing and he was trying to steady his breathing. He had to leave and fast. He couldn't bear to see her again, see the wounded look on her face.  
  
He felt something warm brush against his cheek and then lean softly against his chest. He didn't have to open his eyes, he could smell her magnificent scent. She's just a child, what were you thinking?  
  
"Hermione, no." He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away from him.  
  
She looked into his eyes, a startled expression crossing her face. "Remus..."  
  
He shook his head and made his way to move past her down the stairs.  
  
She stepped in front of him, her hands on her hips. "Remus Lupin, I won't let you do this."  
  
He pulled her away from the edge of the spiral staircase. "Do what?" His voice was cool as he forbade his emotions to get the best of him.  
  
"I won't let you walk away from me like this. I don't know what he said to you, and I don't really care. I am not a child, Remus, not anymore."  
  
Great, I took that away from her too, Remus thought bitterly to himself.  
  
"Before now, before this, you knew that. And now he's convinced you otherwise." The frustration was building in her voice and Remus could sense the fear starting to emanate from her. "Remus, please look at me."  
  
He turned his cool eyes to her, unwilling to let his warring emotions show.  
  
She took a deep breath. "Do you love me?"  
  
The question caught him off guard.  
  
When he didn't answer, she asked again, "Remus, do you love me?" She stared into his eyes. He wasn't budging. "Remus, are you trying to hurt me? Because if you're not, you're doing a damn good job of it!"  
  
Tears welled up in her eyes and the walls he'd built around his heart began to melt. As he looked into her eyes, those eyes, he couldn't stand it anymore. He swept her into his arms, "Of course I love you Hermione. How could I not?"  
  
She sobbed softly against his shoulder, hanging on to him tightly. "Then wait for me Remus."  
  
"What?" he held her out from him so he could see her face. Are you asking what I think you're asking?  
  
"Please, I know it's not fair. But this time next year, I'll be done with school, I'll be a legal adult, and... and..."  
  
His soft face hardened. "And what Hermione? We can play house?" He saw the wounded look he'd been trying to avoid settle upon her face.  
  
"Dammit, Remus, what the hell are you doing? Is that all these last few weeks were to you? Because I could have sworn it was something else."  
  
Her brown eyes bore into him. He wasn't sure which was worse, hers or Dumbledore's. His heart was racing. He knew what she was asking, but he didn't want to rob her of her last year of school. What they had done, what they had been, was nothing. He couldn't let it be anything.  
  
"Hermione," his voice was pleading, "What kind of life can I give you? Think about that. It's very difficult for me to find work. I don't have any money. I don't even have a home anymore," he sighed, exasperated. "You deserve better than that."  
  
"I have thought about that," she smiled shyly, "more than I'd like to admit. One year, Remus, that's all I ask," she pleaded. "After I graduate, we can reassess things."  
  
"Hermione, I don't know..." Remus closed his eyes. He knew he couldn't resist her for much longer.  
  
She cupped his face in her hands. "Remus, I love you, please say you'll wait for me. Please."  
  
He felt his resolve disintegrate when he opened his eyes and looked into the unwavering brown ones staring back at him, innocent and full of hope. How could he refuse her? How could he refuse himself? Finally, he relented, nodding his head. "I will wait for you, Hermione. I promise."  
  
She wrapped her arms around him and held him tighter than she ever had.  
  
"But," he whispered in her ear, "I will let you lead."  
  
He walked heavily to the gates of the castle. How could he not wait for her? He knew Dumbledore would be furious but the headmaster didn't need to know. And this time next year, Hermione would be an adult and neither of them would need to answer to him. If things worked out, maybe Dumbledore would forgive him, eventually. If not, Dumbledore would be right––and he usually was. Remus sighed and turned his thoughts to his next assignment.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Witching Hour  
  
Remus Lupin will wait for me, Hermione thought giddily as she hurried towards the Great Hall. She couldn't have asked for anything more. And she couldn't wait to see her best friends and her family.  
  
Hermione felt like a princess going to a ball as she hurried towards the Great Hall where her friends and family were gathered, awaiting her arrival. How she had missed them this summer––Harry, Ron, Ginny, her parents. She smiled. In a matter of a few short weeks, her life had changed, dramatically. She'd have never believed it herself if she hadn't lived through it.  
  
"HERMIONE!"  
  
She ran towards them, into several very happy and very welcome embraces. Even Professor Dumbledore joining them for dinner did not dampen her spirits. She had her friends, she had her family, and she had Remus Lupin. What more could she want?  
  
It was a couple of nights before the start of term and Ginny and Hermione were sleeping in the same room since the other students weren't there yet. It felt like a slumber party. They stayed up half the night talking, reminiscing, planning for the next year, pairing boys and girls in their minds.  
  
Ginny rolled to look at Hermione. The light of the moon shining through the window made Hermione's face look pale but her brown curly hair looked oddly luminous. There had been a lull in their conversation and Hermione was staring at the ceiling, smiling to herself.  
  
"So who is it?"  
  
Ginny's voice brought Hermione out of her reverie. "Pardon me?"  
  
"Who is it?" Ginny's voice sounded mysterious and mischievous at the same time.  
  
"Who's who?" Hermione asked, feigning innocence.  
  
Ginny groaned. "Hermione, you've been walking around on cloud nine since we got back. At first I thought you were just happy to see us, but that excitement's worn off the rest of us and you're still glowing." Ginny watched her best friend closely. She'd known Hermione long enough to know she was keeping a secret and Ginny was dying to know what it was.  
  
Hermione looked at Ginny. "You sound like my mother."  
  
"So I'm not the only one who's picked up on this mysterious beau of yours."  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes and laughed. "Go to sleep Ginny, it's late."  
  
Ginny laid on her back and looked out the window. The moon's pale glow washed over their beds. She could see the dusty colored craters vaguely accented along its edges. It had been full just a few nights ago. Now the moon was waning. The moon!  
  
"OH MY GOD IT'S PROFESSOR LUPIN!" Ginny shouted, sitting bolt upright in bed. Ginny was smiling widely as comprehension washed over her face.  
  
Hermione looked surprised, then burst out laughing. "Ginny, please, promise me you won't tell a soul. PROMISE ME!"  
  
Ginny nearly jumped from her bed to Hermione's, beaming. "I won't, I promise," she giggled. "Merlin's beard he's the last person I'd have expected, but... well, you have had a crush on him for years now. Does he know?"  
  
"Oh, he knows all right."  
  
"Hermione, you didn't..."  
  
Hermione blushed and looked at the floor. "Oh my god you did."  
  
The next day, the students arrived in droves at the Castle. There was a steady rain outside and Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny were quite happy to be inside. Professor Dumbledore welcomed all of the new and returning students to Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on the stool and the first years were sorted into houses. The beginning of the school year was always an exciting time. Harry mentioned with a note of sadness that this would be their last welcoming feast. Hermione nodded, but she had something else on her mind. Something she had been waiting to do since she'd returned to Hogwarts.  
  
The feast ended and Dumbledore bid the students good night. Much to Harry and Ron's surprise, Hermione jumped up and walked to the staff table. Hagrid was delighted to see her and shook her hand warmly. Hermione smiled before turned her attention to the man sitting next to Hagrid.  
  
"I believe I have something that you quite mistakenly left in my possession. Since I have no need of it, I am returning it to you." She kept her face as even as possible, hiding the anger that bubbled just beneath the surface. She slid the thin box containing the pure silver letter opener that he'd so brazenly thrust upon her at the beginning of last summer across the table. She gave him as dark a look as she dared.  
  
"There was no mistake, Miss Granger." His voice was cold and slippery and the words dripped from his tongue.  
  
"Ah, yes, Professor Snape, that is where we differ. You see, there was a mistake made, and that would be your mistake, Professor Snape, not mine."  
  
Snape opened his mouth to speak but Hermione had already spun around in a flurry of robes and walked away. She could just imagine Snape fuming behind her. Smiling, she caught up with Ron and Harry.  
  
"What was that about?" asked Ron.  
  
"Oh, nothing, I just had something I needed to take care of."  
  
"With Snape?"  
  
"Yes, Ron, with Snape," Hermione said, exasperation sounding in her voice.  
  
Ron and Harry exchanged glances before letting Hermione's odd behavior drop. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Hermione in Love  
  
Hermione was in good spirits as the school year began. Seventh year meant N.E.W.T.S. and it was even more work than fifth year. She was thrilled with all of her classes except Potions. Only the best and brightest students were allowed to take advanced Potions, only those who got Outstanding on their O.W.L.S. Even Harry, who was determined to become an Auror, was surprised at how vicious Professor Snape was being towards Hermione. Hermione held her ground, though, and try as he might, Professor Snape was unable to rattle her. When Harry questioned her, Hermione made some offhand remark about Professor Snape not liking intelligent women. Although it didn't quite resonate, Harry had let it go at that. Hermione was not one to be coaxed into giving any more information than she intended to give.  
  
Every morning at breakfast, Hermione would wait anxiously for the owls. Owl post was quite a sight to see as owls of all shapes and colors fluttered through the Great Hall, dropping letters and parcels on eagerly awaiting students. Most students propped their newspaper or letters up against their mugs of coffee or juice to read them while they ate. Hermione did this too when she received letters from her parents. However, Harry and Ron couldn't help but notice that sometimes she didn't do this at all. Sometimes, she got a dreamy look on her face and carefully folded the letter, not even reading it. Then, she would place the letter inside her robes. At first, Ron and Harry found this quite strange. Everything else she carried with her, she kept in her book bag. Her wand was kept in the outer pockets of her robes. But whatever these letters were, they required extra special handling and protection. As Harry and Ron looked at each other with a questioning glance, Ginny just giggled. Hermione ignored them all. Another letter, that's all that mattered.  
  
Meanwhile, life in Gryffindor house had returned to normal. Ron, Harry, and Hermione had claimed their usual seats in front of the fire along with Ginny and sometimes Neville. Ron and Harry had picked up on the change in Hermione's demeanor. While still very focused on her studies, she seemed to be preoccupied by something else as well. Try as they might to get it out of her, she had no intention of telling them. One thing they did notice was that she always seemed to disappear just before midnight, regardless of what they were studying or doing.  
  
Hermione had retired for the evening. She lay on her bed, curtains drawn, inhaling the scent of the parchment–– myrrh. She sighed and imagined him lying next to her, his arms wrapped around her, the warmth of his body pressed against hers. That thought filtered through her mind as it did every night before she fell asleep. But tonight, she had a letter. A letter she had kept with her all day. A letter that seemed to be burning a hole in her robes. It took more control than she could have ever imagined not to run into the girls' bathroom between classes and read his letters, but she made herself wait. Wait, until she could be nestled in bed and let the warmth of his words spread through her body as she drifted into dreams of nights spent together. She lit the candle on her bedside table and devoured his words with rapt attention.  
  
Ron was in a particularly bad mood that Saturday evening. He, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny had spent the day in Hogsmeade. It had been a crisp, autumn day and they'd all enjoyed butter beers, chocolate, and some hilarious stuff from Zonko's. On the way back, Ron had slipped his hand into Hermione's thinking there might still be something left between them. Although Ron and Hermione had dated briefly during sixth year, it had become clear to everyone, including themselves, that they were better off as friends. Still, Ron yearned for Hermione at times; she was, after all, his first true love.  
  
When his fingers had meshed with hers, she had inhaled quickly, her body stiffening at his touch.  
  
"Ron," her eyes had held a moment of pity in them and Ron had let go of her hand instantly, his face flushing red.  
  
"I'm so sorry Ron."  
  
He had waved his hand to stop her, shaking his head. The embarrassment and anger flooding through him were more than he could handle. He had stalked away from her then, knowing that she'd never love him again, and feeling incredibly stupid for even trying.  
  
He was brought back to the present as the clock struck midnight.  
  
Hermione, noticing the time, quickly headed to her dorm, leaving Harry, Ron, and Ginny in mid-conversation.  
  
"What is it with her?" Ron said, a hint of dejection in his voice.  
  
Harry and Ginny both looked at him, surprised at his outburst.  
  
"It's Krum, isn't it? She's in love with Krum!"  
  
Ginny laughed at that and put her hand on Ron's arm, "It's not Viktor Krum. Believe me, I'd know. In fact, I don't think she's even spoken to him since the summer after our fifth year."  
  
"Then who Ginny?" Ron asked.  
  
Ginny looked away as Harry watched the conversation intently.  
  
"Come on, Ginny, I know you know. If she's told anyone, she's told you." Ron persisted.  
  
"Ron, she'll tell you when she's ready." Ginny said, sighing at her boorish brother.  
  
"And not a moment before," Harry echoed. "Knowing Hermione, we'll be waiting a long, long time."  
  
Harry returned his attention to the essay he'd been working on while Ron sunk further into his chair, arms crossed, not looking at either of them.  
  
Meanwhile, Hermione had fallen asleep writing to Remus. She'd told him all about her classes, careful to skim over the happenings in Potions, instead focusing on her high marks in Transfiguration and Charms. She always tried to ask him a question or two about Defense Against the Dark Arts as well, hoping he'd feel that she needed him in more ways than one. After that was out of the way, she focused on other things. Like telling him about how she'd love to run her hands over his sleek, muscular body. Kiss his warm, eager lips. Run the tips of her finger along the curve of his back. Play with the soft curls on his chest.  
  
It wasn't hard to think of these things, not after the summer they spent together, forced to make each other's acquaintance, locked together, alone, in that safe house. But something quite unexpected had happened. She'd found herself attracted to him. He looked younger somehow, the gray had left his hair, the lines on his face softened. At first she thought her intense feelings were due to the stress of being confined alone with him. But soon she realized it was much more than that. And as small, seemingly innocent gestures became less innocent and more intimate, she began to realize just how much she wanted him, how much she needed him. She relished his eager touch, his beckoning eyes, the warmth of his presence. She loved to make him laugh. She loved his smile. She loved the way he held her in his arms, so tight and so secure. She loved the way his hands and his lips and his tongue caressed every inch of her body. She loved how he'd made love to her that first time––hungrily, passionately, as if his life depended on it.  
  
She could only wonder if her letters affected him the way his affected her. The ideas he planted in her head were enough to make her fall asleep warm and wet and wishing he was there with her. She smiled at the thought before drifting off to sleep, the quill leaving a pool of ink on her sheets, the parchment nestled underneath her as she rolled on top of it. Dreams, oh sweet dreams. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Serious  
  
Remus was sitting with his knees to his chest, leaning against the hard, jagged bark of an old tree. It was just before dawn and he was freezing. He watched the house at the bottom of the hill. There had been movement all night, but nothing they could pin point and no on one in particular they could identify. His partner drifted in and out of sleep, swearing as his head slipped sideways and he jerked back awake.  
  
"Damn it's cold out here. See anything down there?"  
  
Remus shook his head.  
  
The sound of wings flapping from behind caught their attention. A large snowy owl swooped around in front of Remus, eyeing him thoughtfully. Remus smiled and nodded as the bird landed next to him and held out his leg. Carefully, Remus removed a scroll and a square packaged wrapped in plain brown paper. He lifted the scroll to his nose and, closing his eyes, inhaled the scent––her scent––a light citrus mingled with musky roses. Smiling, he slipped the parchment inside his robes and returned his gaze to the house at the bottom of the hill.  
  
"What was that about?" Sirius asked, his curiosity peaked.  
  
"Hmm... Oh, nothing. Just a letter," he said, avoiding Sirius's gaze.  
  
"Just a letter? Well, I've never seen you have that reaction to just a letter." Sirius eyed him intently, waiting for an answer. But none was forthcoming.  
  
"Who is she?"  
  
"Who's who?"  
  
"Come on, Moony, I know you better than that. You haven't been yourself lately. That wasn't just some ordinary letter."  
  
Remus smiled at his best friend. "I can't tell you."  
  
"What do you mean you can't tell me?!?"  
  
"Sorry, man, I just can't." Remus said, avoiding Sirius's piercing stare. "But this," Remus said, holding up the package and eagerly ripping it open, "is chocolate. Here, have some. Honeydukes, it's the best."  
  
Sirius sat back dumbfounded, putting the piece of chocolate in his mouth. Why couldn't Moony tell him? They never kept things like this from each other. Who better to commiserate with than your best friend? Unless... He savored the chocolate. Honeydukes chocolate. Honeydukes was in Hogsmeade. Now who would send Remus chocolate from there?  
  
"Moony? Please tell me it isn't who I think it is."  
  
Remus bowed his head.  
  
"HERMIONE? Remus..." Sirius looked at Remus stunned as Remus looked away.  
  
"Please don't judge me Sirius, I know I've been an idiot and I know how this looks..."  
  
Sirius moved closer to Remus and patted him on the back. "Well, I wouldn't have expected this, Moony, but I am glad you're happy."  
  
Remus looked over at him as if to speak but Sirius was one step ahead of him.  
  
"So how bad is it?"  
  
"Worse than you could possibly imagine." Remus's words dripped with wolfish delight.  
  
Sirius eyes danced roguishly. "Do I want to know?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure you do, but I don't intend to tell you," Remus said as he felt the heat rising into his cheeks.  
  
Sirius laughed. "Does anyone know?"  
  
At that, Remus shot Sirius a pained look and Sirius felt a bolt of fear ripple through him as his eyes widened.  
  
"Snape," Remus said almost in a whisper as he looked at the ground and shook his head.  
  
"SNAPE! How the hell does he know?!?" Sirius could feel the anger rising in him. He'd love to pound the crap out of Snape and if Snape ruined this for Remus, he was sure he wouldn't hesitate.  
  
"Shhhh...." Remus admonished. "He came to tell us that Dumbledore's plans were finalized and I was to bring Hermione back to Hogwarts."  
  
"But why Snape?" Sirius asked and then realized that Snape must have been the Secret Keeper. "Of course." Sirius's words were thick with sarcasm. Sirius looked back at Remus who was looking a bit distraught. "So, what, did he catch you two in the act?"  
  
"Not exactly, but when Hermione came downstairs, he took one look at her and put two and two together."  
  
Sirius groaned at the thought. And then it hit him, "Dumbledore!" Looking over at Remus, Sirius saw the regret in his best friend's eyes. "Merlin's Beard, what did he say."  
  
Remus sighed, shaking his head. "He didn't have to say much. You know how it is with him, he can put you in your place with that look of his. I felt like I was back in school and I'd just disappointed him beyond belief."  
  
Sirius nodded, he had only seen Dumbledore angry a couple of times but he knew that he never wanted to be on the wrong side of that wizard.  
  
They sat in silence for a long while, watching the house as the sun rose.  
  
That night, Remus lay in his bed at Order headquarters and lit the lantern on the bedside table. Carefully, he flattened the letter. Tapping it with his wand he whispered, "Si ce soit un reve, donc cedez a mon ame, pour que mon amour et moi-meme soient unis dans un sommeil sans fin." Immediately, her beautiful handwriting spread extravagantly across the page. He closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling her sweet scent. Hermione. He read the letter carefully. Schoolwork, friends, and then, his favorite part. The part he always waited for. The part about the two of them together. The part that allowed his mind to wander, to stretch out over her luxurious skin, to feel her caresses. The part that made him yearn for her. The part that made him ache in her absence. He wondered if his letters brought her to the same feverish place that her letters brought him. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: By the Light of the Moon  
  
Hermione sat quietly that evening on her bed. The full moon shown through the castle window and she couldn't help but choke back tears. He would be all alone tonight. How lonely he must be. She laid the parchment and quill on her bed and leaned back against the wall. She always knew when the full moon was, she didn't have to look outside. Since she had spent the summer with Remus, her body shifted and began to cycle with his. At first she hadn't noticed how two days before the full moon her period would begin. Those were the days that the moon started pulling at him, more so than the rest of the month. The day of the full moon, and especially that night, the night of his transformation, she would have severe cramps and the pain would keep her awake. The next day, inevitably, she would be exhausted, as would he. In the days it took him to recover, her cycle would come to an end. How ironic, she thought to herself, trying to ignore the painful twinges coursing through her abdomen.  
  
She was also a bit worried. She hadn't received a letter from him in almost two weeks. She knew he wasn't able to write to her as often as she wrote him because he was often busy doing work for the Order. She tried hard not to think about just how dangerous his job was. However, due to the nature of his work, and more importantly, the nature of their letters, they had come up with a few intriguing ways of handling them. First, the owls were instructed only to deliver the letters to the intended recipient. If the letter could not be delivered, the owl was to return it to the sender. Second, all letters were charmed. Only a flick of a wand and a password would reveal the secret writings of two people deeply in love, sharing their most intimate thoughts and feelings with one another. Lastly, letters were to be wiped clean after reading, just in case they fell into the wrong hands.  
  
It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas and everyone was buzzing around the castle. Snow was falling outside in huge, glorious flakes. As Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny bundled themselves against the cold, they embarked on their journey. While Hermione had always loved Christmas, this year was going to be extra special. She knew exactly what she was going to get Remus, and with the pretense of Christmas shopping, she could easily do so without anyone tagging along. She highly doubted there would be too many students going where she was going anyway. Ginny had asked her repeatedly what she was planning to give Remus, but the only thing Hermione would admit to was an enchanted photograph which she would need Ginny's help with.  
  
Meanwhile, much to Hermione's relief, Ron had taken an interest in a sixth year Hufflepuff named Emily Brochton. And Emily seemed to like him too. No one had forgotten the seventh year Spring Ball that was approaching. Hermione wasn't sure what she was going to do about that. She'd really like to go, but obviously Remus couldn't join her, and she surely didn't want to go with anyone who might be romantically interested in her. She wondered who might be in the same boat as her. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Christmas  
  
It was almost 9 pm by the time Hermione arrived, alone, at the Owlery. She'd been trying to get away all day without success. Someone was always asking her questions or just hanging around. She'd never felt so popular in all her life. She carefully removed the packages from under her robes and looked around, an anxious and excited feeling in her stomach. Tomorrow, tomorrow would be a wonderful day. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes as a large gray barn owl descended toward her, eagerly awaiting its job.  
  
"Thank you," she smiled. She quickly tied the gifts to the bird and ruffled its feathers gently, giving it a treat. "Remus Lupin," she whispered. She watched dreamily as the owl flew out the window.  
  
"Happy Christmas Remus," she whispered.  
  
Filled with nervous excitement, she' hardly slept that night. She kept imaging the look on his face when he unwrapped her gifts.  
  
Tap tap tap.  
  
The knocking on the door subsided as Sirius burst in.  
  
"Remus, wake up!"  
  
Remus jumped at the sound of Sirius's voice. "What is it? What happened?"  
  
Sirius was standing in the doorway looking terrified. "It's Harry. They've got him. They've taken him!" Sirius voice shrieked, breaking under the weight of his emotions.  
  
Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap.  
  
Remus's heart pounded furiously as he forced his eyes open. He looked around. It was still dark. There was no one there. He must have been dreaming. He laid back on the bed, breathing heavily, willing his heart to stop trying to beat its way out of his chest.  
  
Tap tap tap. Tap Tap Tap.  
  
The sound was growing more insistent now. He looked around the room willing his mind to comprehend what was going on in his half-awake state. It was only 4 am.  
  
TAP TAP TAP. TAP TAP TAP.  
  
The noise was coming from the window. Sitting up, he could see its shadow. He crawled out from under the covers and pressed his face against the pane. He was staring eye to eye with a large gray barn owl who was obviously on a very important mission. Smiling to himself, he opened the window, letting the owl in along with the blustery December air. He shivered, quickly removing the packages from the obviously relieved owl.  
  
"Thanks, mate," Remus said, ruffling its feathers and offering it a perch to rest until morning. There was only one person who would be sending him packages, let alone at four in the morning.  
  
Happy Christmas Hermione.  
  
Smiling, he crawled back into bed, holding the packages tight to his chest as he fell back to sleep.  
  
"Hermione, Hermione!"  
  
A raspy voice was breaking through the fog.  
  
"Wake up!"  
  
Opening her eyes seemed like a tremendous chore.  
  
"Happy Christmas, Hermione!" Ginny was beaming at her. "Come on, open your presents, I'm dying to see what he sent you!"  
  
"What if he didn't send me anything?" Hermione said groggily as she rolled to the edge of her bed.  
  
Ginny just smiled and handed her the one present that had no indication of the sender. It was wrapped in exquisite midnight blue paper with gold stars that were enchanted to sparkle. Occasionally, one of the stars would zoom across the package.  
  
"Well?!? Aren't you going to open it?"  
  
Hermione giggled and carefully removed the paper to reveal a small wooden box that was hinged on one side. Carved into the top, elegant letters merged together to read, Happy 1st Christmas My Love. She smiled, hugging the box to her chest. She could only hope they would have many more Christmases together.  
  
Ginny watched eagerly as Hermione gingerly opened the box. Hermione's inhaled sharply. She pulled out a beautiful gold necklace with delicate but sturdy links. Hanging wistfully from it was a heart-shaped locket. Inside the box was a blank note. She'd have to wait until she was alone before she could unenchant it and read it. She clasped the gold chain around her neck and slid it underneath her gown.  
  
"Aren't you going to show it off?" asked Ginny.  
  
"Oh, no, I'm going to keep it as close to my heart as possible," Hermione said, glowing.  
  
An intimate feeling of warmth spread through her body as the heart-shaped locket touched her skin.  
  
Later that evening, as she lay in her bed by candlelight, her fingers wrapped around the gold heart, she read the letter. Tears came to her eyes as she realized just how much thought he'd put into this gift. Carefully, she closed her eyes, and tapped the gold locket with her wand three times, saying the words he'd instructed.  
  
"I Love You."  
  
His ethereal voice echoed, sounding both husky and romantic at the same time.  
  
She sank back into bed, listening to his words over and over in the empty dormitory. "I love you too," she whispered. "More than you could ever know."  
  
When Remus awoke to the sunlight streaming through his window, he thought the early morning owl had been a dream until he looked over and saw the owl sleeping atop his wardrobe and felt the toasty warm packages laying next to him under the covers. I wonder what she's up to this time. The plain brown wrapping paper gave nothing away, nor did the shape of the packages. Should he read the letter first? Or open the gifts? He opted for the gifts.  
  
The larger one was a picture of Hermione in some closely tailored Muggle attire; he could see the curves of her body as warmth spread throughout his own. She was waving and blowing kisses at him. Her smile was radiant, the same smile she'd given him as she left him outside of Dumbledore's office.  
  
The next box was curious; it was small and round. A voice inside his head was sending up warning flags. As he pulled the lid off the box, he practically dropped it. She couldn't, she didn't... A mingled feeling of surprise, dread, and euphoria filtered through him. Quickly, he uncharmed her letter and read it.  
  
My Dearest Love,  
  
I thought long and hard about what to get you for Christmas. I couldn't  
think of a better gift than this––my promise. My promise to always love  
you, to always be there for you. I know you've had your doubts about me  
because I am so young, but I assure you, you are the only one for me. I  
love you with all of my heart, Remus, each day more than the one before.  
And I want you to always remember––I will wait for you too.  
  
I promise.  
  
Hermione  
  
His heart raced as he set the letter aside and studied the simple gold band vibrating softly in the palm of his hand. Suddenly, a glint of something on the inside of the band caught his eyes. Turning it into the light, he realized that it was an inscription, RL – All My Love – HG. He stared at the ring in awe. She was always full of surprises, but he wouldn't have expected this in a million years. While her Muggle parents might not understand the significance of this plain gold ring, in the Wizarding world, this promise meant forever. His hands were shaking as he slipped it over his finger. Hermione. The wolfish part of him chimed in, Mine, All Mine.  
  
Hermione was more anxious than usual as she awaited owl post the next morning. She nibbled at her food absently while scanning the windows for owls.  
  
"Gee, Hermione, what are you waiting for? You look as bad as when you were waiting for your O.W.L. results."  
  
Hermione shot Ron a sideways glance and ignored his question. She did try to look less obvious about her desire for the mail though.  
  
Finally, two owls swept in. There were only two. One stopped by a first year Hufflepuff who had joined them at their table since no other Hufflepuffs stayed for Christmas break, and the other circled the Great Hall, studying the students gathered there. She was beginning to get nervous, wondering if he hadn't received her gift, or worse, if he had received it and decided... But just then, the owl swooped down to Hermione, nodded its feathered head, and allowed her to pluck the letter from its leg. She swallowed, overcome with nervous anticipation.  
  
Hurrying back to her dormitory and slamming the door, she jumped on her bed, pulling the curtains closed behind her. Her heart was pounding as she quickly opened the letter and said the words to make his neat, even script spread across the parchment.  
  
Sweet, Sweet Hermione,  
  
How I never dreamed you'd send me such a meaningful and intimate  
Christmas gift. I am still in shock and awe of you––and how much I love  
you. I can't even begin to tell you what this means to me, to know how  
much you love me, to know that you will always be there for me. I am both  
humbled and honored to accept your promise ring. I can only hope that I  
can be as generous, loving, and kind to you in return. And please  
remember, I will always love you and I will wait for you.  
  
I promise.  
  
Remus  
  
Hermione let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding and hugged the letter to her chest. He's mine, she sighed, tears of happiness filling her eyes. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Sweet Spring Surprises  
  
As the Christmas holiday came to a close, the pressure of the seventh year returned full force. On top of constant reminders of N.E.W.T. preparations came the career counselors as well. Hermione wasn't sure what she wanted to do after she graduated. She'd already been accepted to Warrington Witches College in London where she planned to further her studies. She knew she wanted to do something useful, something good for the Wizarding world, but she also knew she needed to make enough money to support both her and Remus. Much to Harry and Ron's chagrin, she hadn't given up on S.P.E.W., and with Remus in the picture, she had a new cause––the unfair persecution of persons afflicted with lycanthropy.  
  
Although she was unsure of her career plans, one thing was for certain; her best chances would be won by getting the best possible scores on her N.E.W.T.s. She started that semester with a fierce determination to excel in every subject she was taking. Ron and Harry just rolled their eyes as she handed them their study schedules.  
  
"Hermione," they whined, "exams are almost six months away!"  
  
Hermione gave them a dirty look and returned to her studies. They may lack motivation, but she certainly did not.  
  
The only class Hermione was worried about was Potions. She found the course itself rather interesting, but Professor Snape had gone out of his way to make her life as miserable as possible. It was payback, she knew, for sleeping with the werewolf. His prejudice angered her to no end. It took her an incredible amount of self-discipline to not let him get a rise out of her. Slowly, though, she could feel the tables turning. She had yet to miss a question he asked her, no matter how advanced or obscure, so he'd stopped asking. She memorized each potion before class so that even as he tried to distract her, she managed to always get her potions just right. She put protection charms on her cauldron and vials so that they couldn't be broken or tampered with. The only problem was, this constant vigilance on her part was quite tiring. But one thing burned in the back of her mind––just a small spark. Soon, very soon, it would be explosive. Final projects were coming, and she knew exactly what her final project would be.  
  
As winter turned into spring and the snow started to melt, Hermione was feeling happier and more content than she could ever remember. Her life seemed in perfect order; she had met her soulmate, she was excelling in her classes, and soon, she'd be on her own. The world seemed very exciting to her at that moment.  
  
She was brought back to the moment by Ron badgered Harry for advice on how to ask Emily to the Spring Ball. She realized that although it was still a little ways off, she hadn't thought about it in ages. Ron was exhausted and headed off to bed early. Harry was finishing up his Transfiguration essay. Hermione looked around the common room––it was just the two of them.  
  
"Harry?" Hermione inquired.  
  
Harry frantically scribbled his last few words on the paper before looking up and giving Hermione his full attention.  
  
"Are you planning to go to the Spring Ball?" She felt nervous about asking. Harry had not dated anyone since his last girlfriend, Alicia Greenberg, had been brutally murdered the previous year. Hermione cringed at the memory of finding Alicia's body on the edge of the Forbidden Forest last year.  
  
"Well, I don't know, I guess I haven't thought much about it."  
  
Hermione couldn't tell if what she saw in Harry's eyes was sadness or just deep thought.  
  
"Harry," she said as she reached over and put her hand on his shoulder, "Why don't we go together? Just as friends."  
  
Harry looked taken aback by her proposal. "But I thought, I mean, I thought there was someone else––I just assumed you'd bring him."  
  
Hermione smiled. "He won't be able to attend. I do think we should join our classmates, though, in celebrating our last year together."  
  
"What about Ron?"  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Please tell me he's not still in love with me."  
  
"No, I think he's over you. But he might still be jealous."  
  
"I don't know. I guess we'll just have to ask him."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
Hermione hoped Harry would realize that her proposal was the perfect solution to both of their dilemmas. She was obviously involved with someone else, and he wasn't ready to get involved with anyone. They could go together, no strings attached, no expectations, just friends. She was glad she'd asked him.  
  
Ginny and Hermione dressed excitedly in their gowns. Ginny was thrilled to be going to the Spring Ball with Dean Thomas. They'd been dating for almost three years and Ron had finally warmed up to the idea. Hermione was wearing a strapless, royal blue, satin ball gown. It fit tightly around her bust and fell in a V-shape down her slender waist, where it flared outward, barely touching the floor. Her soft brown hair fell in large, sculpted ringlets down her back and neck. She'd put on just a touch of makeup––a little blush, a dab of lipstick. The finishing touch, of course, was the gold necklace that Remus had given her, the one she never took off. As she admired her reflection in the mirror, she saw just how beautiful it was, how delicately it laid against her skin. This is the first thing everyone will see when they look at me, she thought happily to herself, rubbing her fingers over the smooth, gold heart. I just wish Remus could see me like this.  
  
The Spring Ball began at 7 pm. They walked down the castle stairs in couples: Ron and Emily, Ginny and Dean, and Harry and Hermione. Arriving at the entrance to the Great Hall, they noticed the enchanted lights in bubbles floating freely across the room. It was beautiful, Hermione thought. She briefly wondered if her wedding would be this beautiful, but quickly swept that thought from her mind.  
  
It was almost 10 pm when Ginny coaxed Hermione out of the Great Hall to tell her something very important in private. As Ginny lead her through various corridors, Hermione kept asking, "Where are we going? No one will be out and about at this time of night, surely you can tell me what's going on." But Ginny just shook her head and kept walking.  
  
Arriving at a dimly lit empty classroom on the East wing of the second floor, Ginny motioned Hermione inside and quickly shut the door behind her. A look of confusion spread across Hermione's face as she whipped around and grasped the knob, but it wouldn't turn. As she tried the door again, she felt someone's eyes bearing down on her. Slowly, she turned towards the front of the room, and in the dim light, she saw him. He was wearing jeans and a white, long sleeve, button down shirt; Muggle attire. He was leaning casually against the teacher's desk, a wide smile stretching across his lips. She stared at him as if she'd been struck by the Immobulus curse, her hand still firmly gripping the door handle.  
  
"Remus!" she cried, finally running to him and throwing herself into his waiting arms. Her heart was pounding as she realized this wasn't a dream.  
  
"Hermione," his voice echoed as he embraced her tightly, inhaling her wondrous scent, "Sweet, sweet Hermione."  
  
"What are you doing here?!?"  
  
"I had a meeting. I can't stay long, but I had to see you. Dumbledore would be furious if he knew."  
  
She looked into his soft, gray eyes and felt her stomach drop, just as it always did when she was near him.  
  
"You look absolutely beautiful," he said as his fingers traced the outline of the necklace he had given her sending a shiver down her spine. He pulled her against him.  
  
Hermione sighed. How easy it would be to make love to him right here, right now, and how very tempting. She could see the desire in his eyes and knew very well that it was reflecting her own. As if time and space had never separated them, their lips met, kissing hungrily, desperately. She could feel his heart pounding against her breasts, and she could feel something else pressing against her thigh.  
  
"Hermione," he whispered pulling back from her, his voice husky. He ran his hand along her face, caressing her soft skin. She saw the light flicker off of the gold band on his finger. "Hermione, I have to go. I really have to go. Please, make me go," he pleaded as she leaned into him, kissing him deeply, intensely, his hands traveling up and down her back as hers slid underneath his shirt, gliding eagerly along his soft, inviting skin. Wanting. Needing.  
  
Reluctantly, he pulled away from her.  
  
She reached up and stroked his face, "I love you, Remus Lupin."  
  
His breathed still momentarily. "I love you to, Hermione Granger, more than you could ever know." He pulled her back into an embrace and kissed her on the top of her head.  
  
She could feel his labored breathing as he tried to compose himself. She ran her hands through his hair.  
  
"Go, before I get us both in trouble. I will see you soon. I promise."  
  
As she walked reluctantly towards the door, he added, "Oh, and tell Harry he's a very lucky man. But remind him that he can only have you for this one night." His smile was infectious.  
  
She rolled her eyes at him and reached for the door. Turning back one last time she whispered, "I love you, Remus," and blew a kiss at him as she left. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Potions  
  
The time had come to select their final project for Potions. Each student was to choose a relatively difficult potion. They would have four weeks, in class, to brew the potion to perfection. Hermione had been waiting for this day. She had never doubted for a minute which potion she would choose. She already had the instructions and the ingredients memorized.  
  
Today they were brewing a dehydrating potion. Professor Snape walked through the dungeon and stopped by each student to ask them what their final project would be. He challenged nearly every student on his or her choice. Harry was obviously nervous as his turn was next. Hermione was nervous too, but it was nervous excitement she held inside. When Snape's eyes finally turned to hers they were cold and malicious.  
  
"Miss Granger, what potion will you be preparing?"  
  
Not trying in the slightest to keep her voice down, she said, "I will be preparing the Wolfsbane potion, Professor."  
  
Snape stared at her with steely, dark eyes. "Miss Granger, surely you are aware how difficult that potion is to brew. Few qualified wizards are able to brew that potion. Perhaps you might do better with something a little more straightforward, like the Draughsmore potion."  
  
"I'm sorry, Professor, but I am not familiar with that potion." Hermione said, a pure innocence to her voice. She knew exactly what the Draughsmore potion was, it was a potion of liquid silver used over a century ago to kill werewolves. It was highly unlikely that anyone else in the class would know this bit of information but she was sure Snape knew she knew.  
  
Snape's eyes flashed dangerously at her. "You do realize that this potion is worth 50% of your grade. If you fail Miss Granger," he leaned in closer to whisper, "which I'm sure you will," he straightened, his voice returning to normal volume, "you will most certainly fail this course."  
  
"I do not intend to fail, Professor." Leaning forward, she said quietly, "After all, you somehow managed to brew it. I'm sure I will do just fine."  
  
Hermione watched with pure pleasure as Snape's spine stiffened at her words, rage emanating off of him. Regaining his composure, he said loudly, "Perhaps, Miss Granger, you have more personal reasons for choosing the Wolfsbane potion."  
  
Hermione leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest, not bothering to keep her voice low. "Oh, you have no idea, Professor Snape, just how many, many personal reasons I have. Not the least of which is you, Professor Snape. After all, should something unfortunate befall you, there would be one less wizard in the ranks able to brew this important potion. Don't you agree, Professor?"  
  
She could feel the heat rising off his body; the tension in the room was thick enough to slice with a knife. She stared him down. I dare you, Snape, I dare you to lay a hand on me.  
  
It seemed to take all of his self control to maintain his composure enough to make his next statement without exploding. "Perhaps, Miss Granger, you have been mislead. I do not believe that werewolves are in need of saving. On the contrary, they are some of the most vile and dangerous creatures that so freely walk this earth."  
  
At this Hermione leaned forward eagerly, her eyes still locked with Snape's. "Oh, Professor, I can think of many more vile and dangerous creatures that walk among us." She held his contemptuous gaze before pounding the nail in the coffin. "For example, Lord Voldem–"  
  
"ENOUGH, Miss Granger! Ten points from Gryffindor for your inappropriate behavior!"  
  
Hermione sat back smugly in her chair and folded her arms. Harry looked horrified.  
  
When class was dismissed Harry grabbed her by the arm. "Have you gone mad?"  
  
She smiled mischievously at him. "No, I don't think so."  
  
"Hermione! You know he'll do everything in his power to fail you! And why would you choose the Wolfsbane potion, that's one of the most complicated potions there is!"  
  
"Professor Snape hates werewolves. I couldn't think of a better potion to brew." After a slight pause, she added, "And he won't fail me. Even if he did, I will still get top marks on my N.E.W.T.s, which are not administered by the school. He has no control over that. After all, N.E.W.T.s are what matter in the real world."  
  
Harry stared at her in awe and disbelief, shaking his head.  
  
The Gryffindor common room was uncharacteristically quiet as students poured over their schoolwork. Even Harry and Ron seemed to be working without distraction. Hermione was learning everything she could about the Wolfsbane potion. She had contacted a few well known Healer's around the globe by owl to get a feel for their work with the Wolfsbane potion. To her pleasant surprise, they had been more than happy to correspond and share their knowledge with her. They were thrilled that she was interested in learning how to brew the potion, and impressed that someone her age was willing to take on the challenge. She'd even become friends with a Healer in Scotland who had had Professor Snape when she was a student at Hogwarts and commiserated with Hermione. The healer said that she would never have even dared suggest that potion in Professor Snape's class. Although Harry still thought the Wolfsbane potion was a bad idea, Hermione was quite pleased with herself. She was sure she knew more about brewing the potion than Snape ever would, although she hadn't yet had the opportunity to actually brew it herself. After all, it was not much more complicated than the Polyjuice potion she had brewed her second year in the girl's bathroom to turn them all into Slytherin's for an hour.  
  
As she flipped through a book on werewolves looking for the affects of the potion on the transformation, she came upon a paragraph that someone had underlined. "Werewolves have amazing healing reserves, hence they do not fall sick often. When injured, they heal much faster than the average witch or wizard because their cellular structure regenerates at a much faster rate. Accordingly, they do not age like humans. Since their cells break down at a much slower rate, their physical appearance does not correspond with their age in chronological years. Likewise, they have a longer lifespan than humans." Letting this sink in, she looked over at Harry who was studying his notes on Aging potions.  
  
"Of course!" she exclaimed, much to everyone's surprise.  
  
"Oh, nothing, I just had a revelation," she answered to the numerous cries of "What?" she'd received upon her outburst. She sat back in her chair and rubbed her tired eyes. Everything made sense now. Remus had looked so young this summer, too young. But when she saw him the night of the Spring Ball, he looked just like he had when he taught at Hogwarts four years prior. His face was more lined, his hair flecked with gray, not the silky golden brown it had been all summer. Well, this certainly makes life simpler, she thought, a smug smile on her lips.  
  
Harry had chosen a relatively long but straightforward potion for his final project. He found it much easier to get work done now that Snape had found a new target for harassment––Hermione. He couldn't believe how calm and collected she managed to keep herself. He would have been furious. He was furious––for her. But she didn't even seem to notice anything was amiss. She seemed almost happy that Snape was ruining her efforts at succeeding in making the Wolfsbane potion. For the third day in a row, after two strenuous hours of potion brewing, Snape had magically made Hermione's potion disappear for some unforgivable flaw that would require she start over the next day. Although Harry knew very little about the Wolfsbane potion, he did know that it took nine days to brew and if something didn't change, surely she'd run out of time. It was usually not wise to count on your first several attempts at a new and difficult potion.  
  
On the fourth day, Harry watched Hermione nervously. To his surprise, she preempted Snape.  
  
He had watched her very carefully weigh out the last ingredient––powdered Snigglewort root. She then eagerly raised her hand.  
  
As Snape sauntered over to her bench, his voice dripped with sarcasm. "May I help you, Miss Granger?"  
  
"Oh, yes indeed Professor," she said eagerly. "It seems I've added too much Snigglewort root. I was only supposed to add 2 mg, but I added 2.125 mg. I fear this may ruin this delicate potion. Do you think it will matter? Do you think I should start over?" Harry watched as Hermione stared eagerly at Snape. "After all, I do realize how important this final project is, and how it will reflect upon my final grade. I fear that if I can't get this right, I may have to take you up on your offer."  
  
"My offer?" Snape spat at her.  
  
"Yes, your offer. At the beginning of the semester you said that your goal was to make sure we all succeeded, and that if any of us had problems, we were welcome to come to you for extra assistance. I fear I may be spending my evenings with you for the next month if I can't get this right."  
  
A look of malice and loathing settled in Professor Snape's eyes.  
  
"So, do you think I need to start over?" Hermione prodded.  
  
"No, I'm sure it will be fine," Snape said through clenched teeth. He turned abruptly and walked away.  
  
Making sure Snape's back was still to them, Hermione flashed Harry a triumphant smile.  
  
In the next three weeks, Hermione successfully completed three batches of the Wolfsbane potion, to perfection, without another word from Snape. Any questions she had she directed to the Healers she'd made contact with. She'd saved vials from her first two successful attempts for Remus. She had enough for him for six months. Since the potion was quite expensive, she was excited to be able to give them to him.  
  
She was the first to hand in her final batch of potion for grading. She smiled proudly as she handed over the vials. The look that Snape gave her was the same look he'd given Remus when he realized what had transpired between the two of them that summer. I win, she thought to herself. She turned and left the classroom, knowing she would only have to see him for two more weeks and then he would, hopefully, be out of her life forever. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Revelations  
  
Remus and Sirius were on another stake-out. At least the weather was warmer this time. On a tip from Snape, they had managed to get inside of a secured perimeter to monitor the movement of a large group of Death Eaters that were supposed to be gathering there that evening.  
  
"I have a bad feeling about this one, Moony."  
  
Remus shot Sirius a worried glance. He actually did too, but he wasn't going to admit it. "We've been in worse situations before, Padfoot."  
  
Sirius just grunted, keeping a close watch on the building as the sun sank slowly beneath the horizon.  
  
They sat in silence through the twilight hours. Remus could sense the anxiety emanating from Sirius's body. Suddenly it occurred to him that this was a lot like the nights they'd spent together before James and Lily were killed. The only difference was that they were too young and naïve to realize just how much danger they had been in back then.  
  
As night settled over the forest, Sirius relaxed a little. It was much safer in the darkness, much harder to be seen. As they watched the entrance to the building, they saw a group of wizards arrive, gathering at the front gates waiting to be admitted. Soon they would be inside, and Remus and Sirius wouldn't have a chance to find out who they were.  
  
"Moony, I think its time. You lie low, and I'll go take a look."  
  
Remus nodded as his friend transformed into a large, shaggy dog.  
  
Padfoot padded silently along the edge of the forest, his black fur blending with the moonless night sky. He looked back occasionally to check on Remus. As he neared the gates on the side of the building, he could just begin to make out the faces of the witches and wizards gathered there. He'd have to take a small detour to get around to the other side to get a better look. He knew the clock was ticking; soon the group of people would disappear inside and he'd lose his chance. Quickly, he made his way around the perimeter, stopping only to listen for the sound of anything unusual. When he'd made his way to the far side of the perimeter, he studied the group of people just being let through the gate. Gotcha!  
  
Suddenly, he heard several small popping sounds, one right on top of the other. He listened intently, waiting for the group of people to clear the gate before running full speed back to where Remus was waiting.  
  
Ron and Harry were practically pulling their hair out with worry. Although Hermione had encouraged them to study repeatedly, there was only three weeks left until their N.E.W.T.s. The last two weeks of classes were spent reviewing what they'd learned. Then there was one week without classes for students to prepare. And then the N.E.W.T.s were spread out over the final week of the semester.  
  
Although Hermione was thrilled to have completed her Wolfsbane potion, she was getting a bit nervous about having not heard from Remus since the last full moon. He had written her a very quick note to let her know that he was all right after the transformation and said he had to leave on urgent business for the Order. He had promised to write her a longer letter in the next few days. She had not heard from him since. Clasping the heart on the gold necklace he'd given her, she admonished herself. Silly girl, it's only been a week!  
  
But soon another week had passed, and still there was no letter from Remus. Hermione was getting more and more nervous as time went by. Even if Remus didn't have time to write her a novel, he usually took a few moments to jot down a quick note to say that he was all right so she didn't worry.  
  
The Gryffindor common room was buzzing with fifth and seventh year students frantically studying for their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. The only thing that had kept her mind off of worrying about Remus was the pressure of her upcoming exams. Since her, Ron, and Harry were no longer taking all of the same courses, they were mostly studying different subjects; although Harry and Hermione did quiz each other on Potions, Charms, and Transfiguration. Hermione was relieved that at least Ron had stopped badgering her about her love life now that he'd managed to get one of his own. She had to laugh as Ron lamented endlessly over his relationship with Emily Brochton.  
  
As Friday morning dawned, she found herself, once again, watching anxiously for the owls over breakfast. When one finally landed next to her, she breathed a sigh of relief. But as she went to take the scroll from the owl's leg, she noticed something odd. The owl's feathers looked bent and ruffled. And the scroll she removed was not addressed to her but to R. J. Lupin. She gasped, covering her mouth, as she removed it. It was the letter she'd sent him the day before.  
  
Ginny slid closer to her and put her hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Is everything all right?"  
  
Hermione's eyes filled with tears as she shook her head. Luckily, Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus were in the midst of a heated discussion about professional Quidditch teams so no one noticed when Ginny guided Hermione out of the Great Hall by the arm.  
  
"Hermione, what's wrong?" Ginny begged.  
  
Hermione sat on the cold tile floor of the girl's bathroom. "I think something's happened to Remus." Her voice was shaking.  
  
"Why would you think that?"  
  
"Because the owl returned my letter."  
  
Ginny shook her head in confusion. "So?"  
  
"So! So we had it worked out that if the owl could not deliver the letter to the intended recipient, the owl would return the letter to the sender. The owl brought my letter back, don't you see?"  
  
"Hermione," Ginny said comfortingly, "You said yourself that Remus was on urgent Order business. Perhaps he's just not in a place where he can receive owls right now. Hasn't he told you at times in the past not to send him letters for a certain period of time because it might compromise his position? Not to mention, owls do get lost sometimes, blown off course, you know. Nobody's perfect."  
  
Hermione wiped her eyes. "You're probably right. I'm just making a big deal over nothing. I'll resend the letter at lunch. He didn't mention that I shouldn't be sending letters to him at the moment, so I'm sure its okay." She spoke the words to try and convince herself as she rubbed the gold heart against her chest. He has to be okay.  
  
As Padfoot ran towards the small clearing in the woods where Remus was waiting, he couldn't pick up his scent. Surely he was close enough by now. The winds were barely noticeable. Panic was rapidly rising inside of him. Although he knew better than to run directly, carelessly to the spot, he couldn't help himself. He had a sinking feeling he knew what those popping sounds were, and as he came upon the clearing, his blood ran cold. A viscous, angry growl escaped from somewhere deep within his canine chest. Looking around, he saw no one. He listened intently, sniffed the air trying to pick up their scent, but nothing was left behind. Nothing, but torn pieces of Remus's robes. Rolling them over with his nose, he uncovered something else. Remus's wand. Grasping the pieces in his mouth, Padfoot ran as fast as he could, leaping the wards in a single bound.  
  
As soon as he'd arrived back at Headquarters, he raised the Alarm. In a matter of minutes, Order members began arriving at the front door while the portrait of Mrs. Black shrieked loudly in the background. Sirius was beside himself with guilt and grief.  
  
Dumbledore took one look at Sirius and ushered him into the study where they could speak in private. Dumbledore sat on a chair expectantly while Sirius paced back and forth, running his hands through his unkempt hair. "What happened, Sirius?"  
  
Sirius just shook his head, unable to speak.  
  
Dumbledore stood and placed his hands on Sirius's shoulders, turning Sirius to look at him and speaking gently but firmly. "Sirius, tell me what happened."  
  
Finally, Sirius explained the events of the evening, his transformation to get a good look at the Death Eaters, and the sight that greeted him when he went back for Remus.  
  
"How many pops did you hear, Sirius?"  
  
"I'm not entirely sure, but I'd guess somewhere between three and five. I have no idea where they would have Apparated to. Remus didn't leave of his own accord, though. I found his wand laying on the ground underneath some torn pieces of his robe." Sirius had moved to sit on the edge of the couch, his head in his hands, while Dumbledore sat beside him.  
  
"Did you get a sense of anyone who'd been there?"  
  
"No. And I was still in my animagis form, so my senses were heightened. I couldn't even smell them. They must have come very quickly, ambushed him, and left," Sirius lamented.  
  
The grave expression on Dumbledore's face did nothing to calm Sirius's fears.  
  
"You know what they'll do to him, Headmaster." Sirius moaned. "They'll try and torture him into talking. If he won't talk, they'll just torture him until they kill him."  
  
Dumbledore sat silently next to Sirius.  
  
"And you know he'll never talk," Sirius's voice cracked under the weight of his emotions.  
  
Friday's first class was double Potions. Although usually Hermione was happy to get it out of the way first thing in the morning, this morning she was dreading it. She was in no mood to play Snape's game. She was sure he would still be livid at her for completing the Wolfsbane potion successfully without the least bit of assistance from him. She'd never even asked him so much as a single question, yet her potion had been superb. Harry was already there when she arrived. Yesterday and today were spent reviewing everyone's final project. Thankfully, Hermione had given an excellent presentation about her potion on Thursday as she was in no mood to do it today. She only half paid attention to the other students discussing their potions; what went wrong, what they'd learned.  
  
As everyone filtered out of the classroom, Snape called to her from the front of the dungeon. "Miss Granger, a word please."  
  
Hermione took a deep breath and composed herself before turning to walk to the front of the classroom, her head held high. She wouldn't show Snape weakness if it was the last thing she did.  
  
Snape surveyed the room, waiting until the last student had filed out. "Well, well, well, Miss Granger. Have you heard the good news?" The smile that played upon his lips and the expression that danced across his face sent shivers down her spine.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Oh, you haven't?" It was obvious that Snape was taking great pleasure in tormenting the girl. "Well, it seems that we may finally be rid of that vile, disgusting creature you seem to be so taken with."  
  
Hermione felt her head spin and her knees weaken. Oh god, no, not Remus. Not Remus. Her mouth had gone dry and her heart was racing. She knew eyes betrayed her. "WHAT? He's not–" but she couldn't say the word.  
  
"Dead? No, not yet. But I'm sure it won't be long now. You know, the Death Eaters aren't known for their mercy." The evil smile that played upon Snape's lips made her want to kill him.  
  
"It seems that your friend walked right into their little trap. I can't imagine how that could have happened."  
  
The cold words he'd spoken and the smug look on his face caused a wave of wild rage to surge through her. In a flash she heard a loud cracking noise as her open hand made contact with the bones of his face, sending his head spinning sideways.  
  
"YOU BASTARD!" she screamed.  
  
Snape grabbed onto the edge of the desk to keep himself from stumbling. The smug look on his face had been replaced by one of shock followed by one of unmistakable fury.  
  
She hurried towards the door, hot, angry tears stinging her eyes.  
  
"Miss Granger! Detention–"  
  
"GO TO HELL!"  
  
Clutching her aching hand, she ran out of the dungeon––and straight into Harry's broad chest. He stumbled backwards, but managed not to fall. He grabbed her shoulders to steady her and looked into her eyes.  
  
"Hermione, my god, what happened? What's wrong? I heard––"  
  
She fell into Harry's arms and sobbed uncontrollably.  
  
He held her for a moment, stroking her hair as she wept. "Hermione, please, what is it?"  
  
Straightening herself, she gave him a look of utter despair before running off towards Gryffindor tower without saying a word.  
  
Harry stood there thunderstruck. The only parts of the conversation he'd managed to hear was her screaming at Snape––words that he'd never heard Hermione use, and the thought of her saying them to a teacher left him absolutely stunned.  
  
Harry replayed the one-sided conversation to Ron and Ginny over dinner. Harry was now even more concerned because Hermione hadn't shown up for Transfiguration that morning, lunch, Charms that afternoon, and now dinner. Meals were one thing, but Hermione never missed class. Ever. Ginny had gasped as Harry relayed the events of the day. She quickly finished eating and ran back to Gryffindor tower to find out what had happened. Meanwhile, Ron and Harry speculated about Snape throwing out her Wolfsbane potion, or failing her for no reason at all.  
  
Ginny knocked on the dormitory door but there was no answer. She opened it slowly and stepped inside. The curtains were drawn around Hermione's bed but she could hear her sobbing.  
  
"Hermione?" Ginny said gently as she pulled back the curtains. Hermione was curled up in a ball on her bed, holding her grandmother's quilt tightly to her chest as she rocked back and forth.  
  
"Hermione, what happened?" Ginny asked, sitting down next to her and putting a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"They've got him, Ginny. They've got him."  
  
"Who's got him?"  
  
"The Death Eaters," she said, sobbing wildly into her hands.  
  
Ginny just sat there, stunned. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: To Cry a Thousand Tears  
  
Three days had passed since the news of Remus's disappearance. Three days had passed since Hermione had left her bed. She had not eaten anything since Friday breakfast. She was no longer curled up in a ball sobbing, but sitting on her bed, her back against the wall, a vacant, empty look in her eyes. The last words she had spoken were to Ginny that Friday. Since then, she'd been unresponsive. Ginny had left plates of food and drink on her bedside table after every meal, but she never touched them. Even Dobby the house-elf had visited her and tempted her with her favorite foods to no avail.  
  
Ginny was finding it exceedingly difficult not to tell Ron and Harry what was going on. On Sunday night, she finally cracked.  
  
"The man she is in love with has been captured by Death Eaters." She had never seen the two of them go so quiet in all the time she'd known them.  
  
Finally, Harry asked, "Does the Order know? Are they looking for him?"  
  
"Yes, I think so."  
  
"What does Snape have to do with this?" Harry wondered.  
  
"Snape was the one who told her. Snape made it clear that not only does he hope they kill him, but Snape also insinuated that he was the one who set him up."  
  
Harry and Ron could not believe their ears.  
  
"I always knew Snape was evil, but this goes way beyond evil," Ron lamented.  
  
On Monday, Harry attended his classes without Hermione. Snape seemed rather pleased that Hermione was absent, and Harry's loathing for the man reached a new level. In Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall had taken Harry aside after class and asked about Hermione's absence. "She hasn't been feeling well. I'm sure she'll be fine by tomorrow," Harry had said, but he highly doubted that would be the case.  
  
By Monday afternoon, with still no sign of Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny decided it was time to take more drastic action.  
  
Afraid of betraying her friend's confidence, Ginny reluctantly approached the staff table after dinner that evening. "Professor McGonagall, may I speak with you in private?"  
  
McGonagall shot Ginny a curious glance, but nodded and lead Ginny to her office.  
  
"Please, have a seat. What can I do for you Miss Weasley?"  
  
Ginny hesitated. "It's Hermione. She's in a terrible state. She hasn't eaten since Friday and I think she's getting worse."  
  
Professor McGonagall got up from behind her desk. "Has she taken ill? Does she have the flu?"  
  
Ginny bit her lip and shook her head. She didn't know how much to say.  
  
"Well what is it then?"  
  
"I think you'd better have a look for yourself." Ginny said resolutely.  
  
Ron and Harry were waiting eagerly for Ginny in the Gryffindor common room. Ginny sat down next to them as Professor McGonagall quickly climbed the stairs to the girl's dormitory. When she returned several minutes later, her face was ashen. She squatted down in front of Ginny, speaking very quietly.  
  
"Miss Weasley, she won't speak to me. Please tell me what is wrong with her."  
  
Ginny bit her lip and looked away.  
  
Professor McGonagall looked to Harry and Ron.  
  
They both shrugged their shoulders and shook their heads.  
  
"Miss Weasley, this is very serious. You have to tell me."  
  
"I can't," Ginny whined. "I promised."  
  
McGonagall's face seemed to turn a deeper shade of red. Finally, in a much sharper voice, she asked, "Does anyone else know about this?"  
  
Ginny thought for a moment. Snape. Well, over her dead body would she get him involved. "Professor Dumbledore," she said quietly.  
  
Harry and Ron exchanged surprised looks.  
  
"The headmaster knows about this?" McGonagall's voice was shrill, her eyebrows raised.  
  
Ginny nodded, still looking at the floor.  
  
"Come, then, we need to speak with him immediately."  
  
Sirius sat alone in the wretched house of his family. This dark place had never offered him any comfort. His parents would have been appalled at Sirius's audacity to offer it up as headquarters for the Order, and that did give him some comfort, some small measure of contributing to the cause, for he could do little else. Sirius had wanted to go back to the forest Remus had been captured in, look for any clues of his captors, but Dumbledore firmly reminded him that he was still a wanted man and he would do nothing of the sort. Instead, Dumbledore had sent other Order members to search the forest. They had found nothing.  
  
Dumbledore's reminder that someone needed to remain at headquarters to send up the alarm did nothing to ease Sirius's sense of helplessness. Remus was out there, somewhere, most likely being tortured, while Sirius sat at headquarters doing nothing to find him. If it wasn't for Harry and his remote hope that Remus might somehow escape alive, he might just save the Ministry the trouble of ending his worthless life.  
  
Ginny had only been to the headmaster's office once before. As McGonagall gave the password, they stepped onto a spiral staircase that magically revolved upwards, leaving them in front of a large wooden door.  
  
"Minerva, Miss Weasley." Dumbledore nodded for them to sit.  
  
"Headmaster, I am sorry to disturb you," McGonagall's voice was clipped and urgent. "But something is terribly wrong with Miss Granger. Miss Weasley will not tell me what it is but she says that you know."  
  
Dumbledore looked between the two women in front of him. "I'm afraid, Miss Weasley, I do not know what you are speaking of. Would you be so kind as to explain?"  
  
Ginny nervously twirled her long red hair around her fingers, avoiding the anxious stares of her headmaster and teacher.  
  
"Hermione knows, Headmaster, about– about Professor Lupin's disappearance."  
  
Professor McGonagall looked bewildered, obviously not understanding the significance of that statement.  
  
Dumbledore merely clasped his fingers together and seemed lost in thought. "And this is affecting her how?" he finally asked calmly.  
  
"She hasn't eaten since Friday, she hasn't left her dorm room, she isn't speaking with anyone, she's missed all of her classes..." Ginny said, feeling miserable for betraying her friend.  
  
"Albus, she looks like a zombie! I tried to speak with her and it was as if I wasn't even there. What is the meaning of this?"  
  
Dumbledore gave McGonagall a meaningful glance and continued. "Miss Weasley, how did Miss Granger find out about Professor Lupin?"  
  
Ginny looked up, a new fury in her eyes. "Professor Snape told her after class on Friday."  
  
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows as he and McGonagall exchanged seemingly nervous glances.  
  
"And what did Professor Snape say to Miss Granger?"  
  
"I'm not sure I can repeat it, sir," Ginny said quietly to the floor.  
  
McGonagall shifted in her chair.  
  
"I assure you, Miss Granger, we've heard it all before. You have my permission to speak freely and honestly about their exchange."  
  
Ginny proceeded to tell them exactly what Hermione had told her, which was confirmed by what Harry had overhead. She'd never seen Dumbledore look so angry as McGonagall sat quietly, clenching her teeth and ringing her hands, looking very pale and cross. Ginny also told them about Hermione's letter to Remus that had been returned to her Friday morning before class.  
  
"Thank you, Miss Weasley. I do appreciate you sharing this matter with us. Now if you'll please excuse us, it seems there are some things that Professor McGonagall and I need to discuss."  
  
Ginny hurried back to Gryffindor tower. She knew that Dumbledore would have to tell McGonagall what had happened between Hermione and Remus over the summer. She could only imagine what McGonagall's reaction would be.  
  
"Hermione?" Ginny said tentatively.  
  
Hermione stared off into space, her hollow, empty eyes not even acknowledging Ginny's presence.  
  
Ginny twirled her hair nervously. She sat next to Hermione and picked up her limp hand. "Hermione, we are all very worried about you. And we couldn't just let you waste away up here forever. I had to tell her, I'm sorry." Ginny waited, but there was no response. Just then, Professor McGonagall entered the dormitory.  
  
"Miss Weasley, if you would kindly excuse us."  
  
A few moments later, much to Ginny, Ron, and Harry's surprise, Professor McGonagall rushed out of the Gryffindor common room looking extremely frustrated.  
  
Several minutes after that, McGonagall returned with a very determined look on her face. She marched up to the girl's dormitory and returned with a few confused Gryffindors who had been evacuated from their rooms. Hermione was no where to be seen. McGonagall seemed to be standing guard at the bottom of the stairs. She turned away two second years who tried to retrieve something from their rooms. A few moments later, much to everyone's surprise, Dumbledore appeared through the portrait hole. He nodded at Ginny, Ron, and Harry, and gave a small smile to McGonagall, who flushed and nodded back.  
  
Ron watched in amazement as he ascended the stairs to the girl's dormitory. "Hey, how come he can do that? No other guy can walk up those stairs." Ron had discovered this one time when he tried to retrieve Hermione from her dormitory; the stairs simply melted away, turning into a slick, unclimbable slide.  
  
Remus awoke bloodied and beaten. The concrete floor he was laying on felt like ice against his raw flesh. Looking through the one eye that wasn't swollen shut, he could see a small window about six feet up one of the concrete walls. As his vision cleared slightly, he could see the dim light of the approaching dawn. Dark ground was level with the bottom of the window. He must be in the basement of some building. In the darkness, he scanned the rest of the tiny room. He could barely make out the edges of a door. Beyond that, the room was completely empty. Empty and bitterly cold. Instinctively, he reached for his wand. Sighing, he closed his eyes. He must have been cursed as well as beaten. Try as he might, he could not fight the wave of exhaustion and nausea that swept over his body. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Words of Wisdom  
  
"May I?" Professor Dumbledore's voice echoed softly through the room. Receiving no response from Hermione, he sat down on the bed next to her in the same fashion she was; his back against the wall and his legs stretched out in front of him. He noticed the blank pieces of parchment strewn around her. Her wand lay tenuously in her lap.  
  
"Ahhh... How I remember the days. It was not so long ago that I was a student here, sleeping in these beds, enjoying the company of my comrades. Alas, though, that time has passed. And although it is lovely to be back in these rooms, that is not why I am here."  
  
"Miss Granger, it seems that I have underestimated you. I must admit that when Professor Snape told me of his suspicions last summer, I did not believe him. I would not have thought it possible. I trusted Remus with your life, your safety, and your sanity. What I failed to realize was that you were no longer a child."  
  
There was a long pause before Hermione broke the silence. "You didn't even have the decency or the courage to tell me they'd captured Remus," the words sprang from her mouth soaked with anger and bitterness. "Snape told me."  
  
"Professor Snape, Miss Granger."  
  
"He is not worthy of my respect!" Her angry words pierced the still air.  
  
Dumbledore sighed, "Perhaps not."  
  
"You are correct, though, I should have told you. I am afraid that is my fault. You see, I have the failings of an old man. In my years, I have forgotten what it is like to be young. I have forgotten the passion of youth. It never occurred to me that the two of you could be in love. And even if Remus had told me, I'm sure I wouldn't have believed him."  
  
"To my great shame, Miss Granger, it never occurred to me to tell you about Remus. It never occurred to me that the two of you might have kept in touch. I thought that what had happened this summer was a product of a very stressful time in your life, of being trapped alone in a small space with a man–" he stopped, seeming to reconsider his words. "For that, Miss Granger, I am truly sorry." He looked over at her and saw the tears running down her face. She was rubbing her fingers along a golden heart-shaped locket.  
  
"I assure you, Miss Granger, the Order is doing everything in its power to find Remus. You are not the only one who is grieving his disappearance, as I'm sure you are aware. And I give you my word that you will be notified immediately of any new information we uncover."  
  
Dumbledore's voice was filled with sadness and regret as he continued. "Remus is a truly great man, and I fear that my unwillingness to listen and my blindness has affected our relationship greatly. I can only hope that I get the chance to make amends with him."  
  
Hermione buried her head in her hands, sobbing. Through her fingers, she said, "Headmaster, Snape said– he said he–"  
  
Professor Dumbledore laid his hand on her shoulder. "I know what Severus said. Miss Weasley explained what happened between the two of you and Severus did not deny it." Dumbledore paused. "Although I can not believe it myself, we are checking to see if Severus had anything to do with Remus's disappearance. I can assure you, Miss Granger, if he has, the appropriate actions will be taken."  
  
After Dumbledore left, Hermione stared at the heart-shaped locket. Picking up her wand, she tapped it three times. She closed her eyes, waiting for the words she so desperately need to hear, waiting for him to tell her that he loved her.  
  
"I promise," his ethereal voice echoed.  
  
What? That's not what the locket was supposed to say. She tapped it again, repeating the password very clearly.  
  
"I promise."  
  
She sat back on her bed, fresh tears coming to her eyes. She remembered his words as they stood outside of Dumbledore's office after her unexpected return to Hogwarts. His voice spoke clearly in her mind, "I will wait for you, Hermione. I promise." Maybe, just maybe, he was still alive.  
  
The next morning, Hermione came downstairs in her school robes, her book bag at her side. She was exhausted but she had slept quite soundly, for the first time in almost a week. And, as Dumbledore had told her, Dobby had come later that evening to bring her food, which she ate.  
  
"Good morning, Hermione," Ginny said, rushing to her side.  
  
Hermione smiled sadly and nodded.  
  
"Professor McGonagall would like to speak with you before breakfast. Harry, Ron, and I will wait for you in the Great Hall, okay?"  
  
Hermione just nodded as she headed for Professor McGonagall's office. She remembered back to that evening when Dumbledore had told her that she would be staying at a safe house for the summer and that Remus would be her protector. She remembered how concerned McGonagall had been, and she remembered McGonagall's voice cracking as she gave Remus a swift hug and whispered, "Take care of our girl won't you?" Hermione could only imagine what McGonagall must think of her now.  
  
"Miss Granger, thank you for coming, please, have a seat."  
  
Hermione didn't look at Professor McGonagall as she sat in the chair. Had she not been so distraught over Remus's disappearance, she would have been nervous. She knew what was coming but she just didn't care. Hitting and swearing at a professor were unacceptable, not to mention outrageous, behavior under any circumstances. It was the house master or mistress's job to dole out punishments. The words suspension and expulsion ran through her head. Those words would have struck fear in her heart in the past but now they were meaningless.  
  
"Tea?" Professor McGonagall offered.  
  
Hermione shook her head.  
  
"Yes, well, I wanted to tell you that you have been excused from all further Potions lessons. Harry has agreed to take notes for you and we are confident that you are quite capable of studying for your Potions N.E.W.T. on your own. Of course, if you have any questions, you are more than welcome to ask any of the staff you feel comfortable with."  
  
Hermione looked up at Professor McGonagall stunned.  
  
Professor McGonagall got up from her desk and pulled a tissue from a box across the room. With her back still to Hermione, she said softly with a broken voice, "You know, I have always been very fond of Remus. I must admit I was quite taken aback when Albus told me last night about the two of you. But," McGonagall paused, wiping her eyes and turning back to face Hermione, "I can't think of two people more deserving of happiness."  
  
Hermione watched in awe as Professor McGonagall tried to regain her composure.  
  
"Thank you, Professor," she managed to whisper.  
  
McGonagall nodded.  
  
As Hermione got up to leave, McGonagall embraced her, whispering in her ear, "I do hope he's all right, and I assure you that we will let you know as soon as we hear anything." Letting go, she smiled warmly at Hermione, "Now run along, dear."  
  
Breakfast was a quiet affair as Ron and Harry tried to engage Hermione in small talk while Ginny sat quietly next to her. The owls came and left, but Hermione never even bothered to look up. Both Ron and Harry offered Hermione their support. She just nodded, lost in her own world. There was nothing to do now but wait. Wait to live, wait to die. The only thing that kept her going were Dumbledore's words:  
  
"I leave it up to you whether or not to take your N.E.W.T.s this year. However, I must remind you that if you choose not to, you will not be able to take them again until next year. And, if I am any judge of character, I would think you should like to get them out of the way as soon as possible so that you and Remus can begin a life together."  
  
Perhaps she had underestimated Professor Dumbledore as well.  
  
The Gryffindor Common Room was buzzing with excitement when Hermione arrived from the library. She took her seat in front of the fire. Ron and Harry were beside themselves with glee.  
  
"Hermione did you hear?" Harry asked.  
  
Hermione looked between the two of them shaking her head.  
  
"Snape's been put on probation! Can you believe it?" Ron blurted out. "I don't know why, but word in the halls is that Dumbledore is absolutely furious with him. Rumor has it that Snape lost his temper and punched some student in the gut."  
  
Hermione took in the news quietly. It certainly had felt like Snape had punched her in the gut with his revelation.  
  
She headed off to bed early that night to write Remus a letter, fully aware that he might never have the chance to read it.  
  
She arrived late to breakfast the next morning, not having slept well the night before. Harry and Ron had saved her a seat and were looking quite anxiously at her as she walked into the Great Hall.  
  
"What?" she said, as she got closer.  
  
"That bird has been waiting for you all morning. He bit me when I tried to take the letter of his leg!" Ron said incredulously.  
  
Hermione felt a cold shiver run through her body, her hands shaking as she removed the letter. Indeed it was addressed to her, but she didn't recognize the handwriting. Opening it quickly, she checked to see who it was from. Sirius? She skimmed the contents enough to know that Remus hadn't been found. Noticing Ron and Harry watching her intently, she folded the letter and put it in her robes, intending to read it later when she was alone.  
  
Harry and Ron looked at her expectantly.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes, addressing them in an exasperated voice. "It was from Sirius. He must have talked to Professor Dumbledore. He was just lending me his support."  
  
"That figures," Harry said, a hint of resentment in his voice. "He hasn't written to me in ages."  
  
Hermione gave him a pained look and returned to her food.  
  
"What?" Harry asked.  
  
If you only knew, she thought sadly, he just lost his best friend.  
  
After breakfast, Hermione went back to her dorm to read the letter while Harry went to Potions without her.  
  
Hermione,  
  
I want to tell you how sorry I am about Remus. We were on a stake-out  
that night. I had transformed to get a better look at the gathering of  
Death Eaters. I should never have left his side.  
  
I also want to apologize for not telling you about his being captured  
myself. I thought Dumbledore would have told you. When I heard what Snape  
said to you, I was livid. I have always hated that man, but even he  
stooped to new lows. I was too caught up in my own grief to think about  
anyone else. I should have been the one to tell you and I'm sorry.  
  
The Order is doing everything it can to find him. Remus is a very decent  
man and the best friend I could ever ask for; I would gladly give my life  
for his in a heartbeat. I have never seen Remus happier than when he's  
been with you, Hermione. I'm sure he misses us as much as we miss him.  
  
I will keep you posted if I hear anything new. Please let me know if you  
need anything, including just someone to listen.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Sirius  
  
P.S. Remus would be terribly upset if he knew we were moping around like  
this. Do try and take care of yourself, and study hard. Don't roll your  
eyes at me, I know how hard it is to go on living, not knowing where or  
how he is. But he needs us to be strong, Hermione, you and me both. 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Full Moon Rising  
  
Voices echoed in the distance, bouncing off the concrete walls surrounding him. They were deep, drawling voices. Slurred almost. Suddenly, he gasped as something very hard hit him in the stomach. Then he felt blows to his chest, his back, his head. They were kicking him. He groaned as he curled into a ball on the cold, damp floor, pressing his hands against his head. He had no idea how long he'd been lying there, but judging from how ill he felt, he guessed they'd tried cursing him. Since he carried a curse with him always, his body didn't tend to take well to more curses. An odd sort of cascading effect seemed to occur that would knock him out for several days at a time. He presumed that was why they'd resorted to physical violence, a form of warfare usually reserved for Muggles who didn't have access to powerful curses they could use from a distance.  
  
"Get up!" one of the voices was yelling. As Remus tried to pull himself up on his hands and knees, a tremendous blow to his side bowled him across the floor. He could hear their malicious laughter. He vaguely felt the electrified air of the curse they'd directed at him before he lost consciousness again.  
  
As a sense of his surroundings seeped into his consciousness. The pain resonating through his body reminded him where he was. From the stench in the room and the wetness against his skin, he knew he was lying in a pool of blood and vomit. It was pitch black in the room as he agonizingly pushed himself towards the wall, finally propping himself up in a corner, nodding in and out of sleep until a clicking noise jolted him awake. Someone was unlocking the door. His heart pounded as all of the muscles in his body tensed. The nausea came back with a fury. Not again.  
  
Opening his eyes against the pale predawn light he watched with trepidation as the door creaked open. A very large and round golden eye was peeking curiously at him through the crack in the door about three feet off the floor. He watched as a timid and frightened looking house-elf dressed in rags scampered into the room with a plate of food and a glass of water. Looking around anxiously, the elf set the food and drink before him.  
  
"Hurry," she whined.  
  
She skittered out of the room and came back moments later with some rags and a large, powdery looking sphere about the size of a bludger. Watching him apprehensively as he struggled to eat the food and drink the water, she set the sphere in the pool of fluids. To his amazement, it spread out absorbing the odorous liquids. Then, it sprang back into a sphere, slightly larger and heavier looking, not a trace of anything left on the floor. She quickly retrieved it with her rags.  
  
"Where am I?" he asked, his voice raspy.  
  
The house-elf looked at him with pity in her eyes, "I can no tell you, sir, I sorry," she said, retrieving the plate and cup from beside him.  
  
He knew that house-elves were honor bound to their masters and that she could not divulge that information, no matter how much she wanted to, just as Kreecher could not reveal the location of Order Headquarters.  
  
"How, how long have I been here?"  
  
She looked nervously at him, "Four days," she whispered.  
  
As she headed for the door, Remus asked with great urgency, "Wait, please. Is there anyone else here?"  
  
She looked quizzically at him.  
  
"My friend, my friend was with me. Is he here too?"  
  
She shook her head and left as quickly and quietly as she had come.  
  
He leaned back against the wall, straining to breath. It felt like a large, heavy object was sitting on his chest, pushing all of the air out of his lungs. He struggled against the pain ravaging his body and tried to regain some semblance of mental clarity. At least Sirius had escaped. Or if he didn't, he wasn't here. But even if they were looking for Sirius, they wouldn't have been looking for a dog. He took a minute measure of comfort in the thought that Sirius was safe at home. Much to Sirius's chagrin, Remus thought to himself.  
  
The shadows falling across the concrete floor were his only indication of the time that passed. No one came for two days, no one, except the house- elf who snuck in during the early morning hours to slip him food and water. He was sure she was doing this without her master's knowledge. Although she never lingered, her courage and generosity warmed his heart. Hermione would be proud, he thought, smiling sadly at the thought of her. He wondered if she knew. He felt hot tears burning behind his eyelids. The thought of never seeing her again, never being able to wrap his arms around her, to get lost in her warmth was overwhelming. "Hermione," he whispered. He'd take all the beatings and cursings in the world if he could just see her again.  
  
Hermione stared absently out the window as the wind and rain beat against the old glass pane, vibrating as if it might break. The last time she'd seen it rain like this was last summer when Remus had come back to the cottage, sick with fever. She had covered him with her grandmother's quilt and crawled in next to him, laying her head on his shoulder, her body against his, trying to keep him warm. 'Warm as toast,' he had said the next morning. A small smile slipped across her tear-streaked face. What she wouldn't give to be snuggled up against him right now, safe and sound in his loving arms.  
  
By mid afternoon of the seventh day, a foreboding feeling had settled over him. The house-elf had not come. Surely this was a bad sign. Just then, he heard the familiar clicking of the door unlocking. As five wizards cloaked in black hoods streamed into the room, their wands pointing straight at his heart, he knew he had not been mistaken. A chair was brought in and two of the Death Eaters wrenched him up by his arms, flinging him onto the chair. Although fear and anger coursed through his veins, he did his best to keep his face impassive.  
  
As one of the smaller Death Eater's raised his wand to have a little fun with the prisoner, another one stopped him. "WAIT! Not until I am finished with him. Then you can do whatever you like." The leader of the group, a wizard much bigger than the others and one Remus didn't think he'd ever been before, commanded the man next to him to bind 'the prisoner.'  
  
Lifting his wand, the wizard uttered a curse that caused leather straps to bind Remus's wrists, legs, and chest to the chair.  
  
The leader then nodded to two of the other wizards.  
  
To his horror, Remus saw the wizard pull something out of his robes that he'd never seen before. A long silver needle was attached to a plastic vial that was filled with a clear liquid. One of the Death Eaters came up behind him and in one quick movement had caught Remus around the neck with the crook of his arm and was forcing his head back, choking him. This wizard had been here before, Remus recognized his scent as one of the men who had beaten him. And then he felt something very sharp pierce his skin followed by the sensation of ice coursing up his arm and through his veins. He shook uncontrollably as he head rolled, the Death Eaters swimming in and out of focus in front of him.  
  
As he came to he could start to decipher the discombobulated voices.  
  
"How much did you give him?"  
  
"The same amount we give everyone."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"If you killed him, he'll be useless to us!"  
  
"Look, he's coming around."  
  
Remus tried to pick his head up, but it fell back down, saliva drooling from mouth. He heard the leader direct someone to do something and then he felt someone behind him grab him by the hair and yank his head up. His vision had not quite cleared and he was very disoriented, but the questions began anyway.  
  
"What is your name?"  
  
The voice sounded like a low baritone, long and drawn out, much more so than it probably was in reality, but nothing much was getting through to his foggy brain.  
  
"WHAT IS YOUR NAME?" The voice boomed as his head was unceremoniously yanked upwards again.  
  
"Remus Lupin."  
  
There was a flurry of whispers.  
  
"Who do you work for?"  
  
What?  
  
"WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?"  
  
"Nobody," Remus said, confused.  
  
At that one of the wizard's raised his wand and the wizard behind him pulled even harder on his hair.  
  
Finally, it dawned on him. He'd been injected with truth serum. "I don't currently have a job. I'm unemployed."  
  
One the of the wizards laughed and he thought he heard someone say, "Where did you find this idiot?"  
  
But the leader paid no heed. "Are you associated with the Order?"  
  
"Yes," Remus answered.  
  
"And who is the head of the Order?"  
  
"Albus Dumbledore."  
  
Again, there were whispers from the crowd.  
  
"Where might we find this Dumbledore?"  
  
"At Hogwarts."  
  
"What were you doing in the forest that evening?"  
  
Remus hesitated for a moment. "I was watching for Death Eaters."  
  
"For the Order?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And were you alone?"  
  
"Yes." I was alone at that point in time.  
  
"And did you see anyone?"  
  
"Yes. But they were too far away and I couldn't see their faces."  
  
"Why didn't you move closer so you could get a better look."  
  
"I was going to, but ..."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"I don't remember what happened next."  
  
The leader seemed to ponder this for a moment before continuing.  
  
"Tell me about the Order."  
  
"The Order is a group of witches and wizards."  
  
"And what is its purpose?"  
  
"To defeat Lord Voldemort."  
  
A collective gasp went through the room at the sound of the Dark Lord's name.  
  
"So you think you can defeat the Dark Lord, do you?" the leader said with a sinister laugh. "Tell me, who do you report to?"  
  
Remus considered this question carefully. He was much relieved that the truth serum didn't seem to affect him like it did humans. While he felt compelled to tell the truth, he could tell a lie if he felt the need was strong enough. The only information he'd revealed so far were things that they'd already known or could very easily find out. But now he was at a juncture he could play two ways. He could play dumb, like he was a low member of the Order who didn't know their inner workings and was just sent to do their dirty work. If he went this route, though, they'd probably just kill him outright as he'd be of no use to them. The other route might buy him some more time...  
  
"Master Dumbledore."  
  
"You report directly to Dumbledore?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Does everyone report directly to Dumbledore?"  
  
"No, only a select few."  
  
Remus could see the cogs in the leader's head turning. He'd taken the bait. But what would Remus say if the leader started asking him to name the members of the Order? Making up names would be the best course of action, but he'd have to remember them, and that would be no easy task in his condition. He shivered noticeably at the thought.  
  
"So tell me what the Order is working on."  
  
"The Order is working on several things," Remus said, his voice beginning to slur.  
  
"Tell me what its plans our to defeat our Dark Lord."  
  
Remus's eyes began to droop. "We are plannnnning tooooo...." Remus's head fell sideways even as the wizard behind him tried to yank it up. Remus started shaking violently against his shackles, causing the chair to teeter on its legs.  
  
In anger and frustration, the leader kicked the chair over, Remus's head bouncing off the cold pavement.  
  
As pain seared through Remus's temple and his ear rang, he heard the smaller wizard begging the leader, "Can I please? Just one?"  
  
"FINE!" the leader's voice bellowed.  
  
A flash of violet light filled the room as the hairs on the back of Remus's neck stood up. The blood in his veins had turned to fire and something had sucked the air out of him. He tried to breath, but it felt as if his airways had collapsed. He writhed in pain against the shackles, until everything faded to black.  
  
Sirius sat sullenly at the table as the meeting was called to order. Dumbledore made a few announcements and then turned to Snape for an update on the activities of the Death Eaters, and more importantly, on Remus's whereabouts. The air of smugness that had accompanied Snape after Remus's initial disappearance had subsided, due to the several death threats he had received from Order members. Most notably was that of Sirius's. During a moment of anguish and self-blame, Snape had unknowingly walked in on Sirius. Snape sneered at Sirius, and Sirius flew at him with such speed that even Snape lost his refined exterior. "If you had anything to do with this, I swear I will kill you with my bare hands!" Sirius growled, tightening his hands around Severus's neck as he held him against the wall, a dangerous look in his eye. "I don't care if I spend the rest of my life in Azkaban. To rid this world of you would be worth it." Dumbledore had walked in at that moment, and the look of utter fear that had taken up residence in Snape's eyes was quickly replaced by contempt.  
  
Perhaps more pressing than the threats of the Order members, was Snape's attempt to return to the headmaster's good graces. Dumbledore had cut him a lot of slack, but after his cute little interaction with Miss Granger, Dumbledore had been furious. Dumbledore had well worn out the "there's no place here for childhood grudges" line, which Snape had crossed when he took his revenge on a student. Whether Snape wanted to admit it or not, Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard in the world, aside from Voldemort, and he had done Snape a great favor by placing his trust in him and letting him teach at Hogwarts. As a denounced Death Eater, Snape knew he'd have great difficulty in the Wizarding world, not to mention that his tenuous hold over the Death Eaters would soon be lost, should he lose Dumbledore as an ally.  
  
Snape's update was subdued, although his voice still had a cold, indifferent edge to it. He reported that there had been no word about anyone being captured or killed, and that news such as the capture of an Order member would certainly have filtered through the Death Eaters at record speed. Therefore, it was Snape's impression that a band of rogue Death Eaters had planned and executed Remus's capture. He speculated that they were hoping to get valuable information out of Remus and then present Remus or that information to the Dark Lord. By way of their covert actions, if they failed, they wouldn't have to face the fury of the Dark Lord, while if they succeeded, they would quickly move up in the ranks of the Dark Lord's followers.  
  
Everyone at the table looked dejected at Snape's words, hoping beyond hope that some small bit of good news had been uncovered. With tears in her eyes, Tonks commented that at least, as far as anyone knew, he hadn't been killed, so there was still hope. If he had been killed, she reasoned, wouldn't they have bragged about it? A member of the Order would certainly be worth something to Voldemort. Sirius sank down even further in his chair and Dumbledore gave him a sympathetic look before continuing the meeting.  
  
When he finally came to, he realized he was again covered in fresh cuts and bruises. He lip was swollen and he could taste blood in his mouth––his blood. He was lying on the cold floor, no longer strapped to the chair. He tried to move, but the pain was excruciating. He felt a small hand come to rest on his shoulder. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw large, golden orbs looking back at him, a plate of food and a glass of water in front of him. She had a pained look in her eyes. In agony, he pushed himself into a sitting position, leaned back against the wall, and waited for the wave of nausea to dissipate. Too weak to feed himself, the house-elf moved closer to him and tentatively raised the glass to his lips, allowing him to drink the water.  
  
"Don't you have to leave?"  
  
"Master is out today," she said, placing a small morsel of food on his tongue.  
  
He looked longingly at the door, knowing that he was in no condition to escape.  
  
"When will he be back?"  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
Remus let the house-elf feed him some more food and water, before asking, "How long has it been this time?"  
  
She looked a bit frightened by his question. "Three days, sir," she said meekly.  
  
After she'd left, he leaned back and shut his eyes. I'm so sorry, Hermione. I've failed you.  
  
Sirius voice cut in then, "Don't you give up, Moony, don't you dare! If I could live through twelve years of Azkaban, surely you can make it through this!"  
  
Early the next morning, he was hoisted into the chair again and bound. The leader had returned. He didn't fight them as they injected the serum, there was no point. As he felt the icy fluid filter through his veins, he started to shiver. The shivers turned into shakes, which rapidly turned into seizure-like tremors. His eyes rolled back and his head lolled to the side, drool streaming from his mouth.  
  
"WHAT?" he heard the leader yell. "I thought I told you to DECREASE the dose!"  
  
"I did!" came another wizard's voice.  
  
"LIAR!" The leader's voice was filled with rage. "CRUCIO!"  
  
Remus cringed at the anticipated onslaught of pain, still shaking wildly in his chair. But the leader hadn't cursed him, he'd cursed the other wizard. Exhausted by all the shaking, Remus decided it was time to play unconscious. He slumped over in his bonds, eyes closed, still drooling.  
  
"YOU FOOL!" The leader's voice bellowed.  
  
Remus could hear the wizard writhing in pain on the floor.  
  
"You increased the dose so you could watch him suffer! What good is he to me like this!" The leader lifted the curse. "I will be not be back here until FRIDAY. You have wasted my precious time! Twice now you have made me wait. TWICE. I am sick and tired of your games!"  
  
Remus could sense the fear emanating off the wizard cowering at his master's feet.  
  
"You will NOT touch him again! Do you understand me?"  
  
"Yes, sir" came a very shaky voice.  
  
"If so much as a hair is harmed on his body, YOU WILL PAY! Perhaps if he had been stronger, he would have been able to tolerate your misdeeds!"  
  
The other wizards shrunk away from their leader as his voice reverberated through the small room. In a much lower and dangerous voice, the leader said, "I don't think you've been listening to a word I've said."  
  
"CRUCIO!"  
  
The wizard flipped around again wildly on the floor, screaming in pain.  
  
"Remove him from my sight," came the leader's voice, not bothering to lift the curse as he left the room.  
  
The other Death Eaters struggled to pull the flailing man from the room, locking the door behind them.  
  
Remus's heart was racing as he breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe, just maybe, he might get the chance get out alive after all. The leader said he would not return until Friday. Assuming the leader would want to question him again with the truth serum, his only chance would be between now and then. If his calculations were correct, the full moon would fall on Thursday. Looking around the room, he could see the window. Although he wouldn't be able to get out of it on his own, the wolf certainly could make the jump.  
  
Still, there were several unknowns. Like what kind of wards protected this place? And did they affect animals the same as humans? As he envisioned his escape, a very unsettling thought occurred to him. Without the Wolfsbane potion, the wolf would run free. There was no telling what the wolf would do. Being pent up in this tiny concrete cell for days on end would not bode well. If the wolf bit anyone, Remus would certainly be executed by the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures, regardless of the circumstances. Remus slumped back in his chair. Did he risk endangering others to gain his own freedom? Of did he sacrifice himself in hopes of saving innocent lives? Somewhere in the back of his mind, Hermione's voice chimed in. Remus, you promised. He shook her voice from his head, it was too painful to hear. Drifting off to sleep, he dreamed he was the wolf, running freely through the undergrowth of the forest.  
  
Remus awoke, his head slumped over his body, still bound to the chair. Two days had passed. His neck ached terribly from the awkward position he'd been forced to remain in. He heard the now familiar clicking noises of the door being unlocked. He looked up with dread as two Death Eaters approached. In silence, they released his bonds and hauled his body into the corner, propping him against the wall. He recognized their scent, they had been here before. He watched as they dragged the chair out of the room. The taller of the two came back into the room. "Eat this," he said, shoving a plate of sandwiches at him. "Lest our master think we've failed him yet again," the sarcastic tone of the wizard's voice was unmistakable. Setting down a large glass of water next to the plate of food, the Death Eater left, locking the door behind him.  
  
Remus picked up the glass of water and smelled it. The full moon was only two days away and his senses were heightened. He cautiously put a drop of the water on his tongue. He could detect no poison in the water or the food. Of course, it wouldn't make much sense to poison him now, not with their master coming back in three days to question him.  
  
As he sat on the floor waiting for the moon to rise and his transformation to begin, he heard the familiar clicking noises of the door being opened. He watched as two dark figures entered the room. Then he noticed they were dragging something behind them. Not something, someone. He felt a huge wave of nausea wash over him as the scent of musky roses and citrus infiltrated his senses. Hermione. He watched in horror as they threw her broken body into the far corner of the room, hearing her groan in pain as she hit the hard concrete floor. He scrambled to his feet, but one of the Death Eaters raised his wand, pointing it straight at her heart. "Sit down or we will make her suffer." His heart was racing and he could taste the bile rising in his throat. The sound of her muffled cries broke his heart. Oh, god, not Hermione! He could sense the fear radiating off of her. To his surprise, the Death Eaters left. Waiting only moments, he rushed to her side, pulling her into his arms as she sobbed against his chest. But then, she was pushing him away and running for the door trying to get out. Looking over her shoulder at him she screamed. In the shock and confusion of her being thrown into the room, he hadn't realized what was happening. And then he felt it. He felt his body being pulled and twisted as the realization of what she'd seen hit him. He was transforming, he was becoming the wolf. He knew the wolf would tear her to shreds––and so did she. "NOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, trying to fight the transformation. But the wolf was thirsty for blood and the wolf was eager for such a fresh catch.  
  
Lying in a puddle of cold sweat, thrashing wildly on the floor, he heard a far off scream in the distance. It was deep and menacing and as he returned to consciousness, he realized that scream was coming from somewhere deep within himself. Jerking his body upright he looked frantically around the room while sniffing the air. He fell against the wall and sunk to his knees, his head in his hands. Hermione.  
  
Lost in his misery, he heard the familiar clicking noises of the door being opened. Quickly, he wiped his tears away, thankful for the darkness. The door opened briefly and then shut again. He could sense the stout figure approaching him as she gently placed a glass of water in his hands and a small plate of food next to him.  
  
He drank the water quickly to get the bitter taste out of his mouth.  
  
"You must have heard me screaming," he said.  
  
"I no hear nothing," her voice squeaked. "Why you screaming?"  
  
He rested his head back against the wall, shutting his eyes against the vivid images flashing before him. "I had a very bad dream."  
  
"I no hear nothing," she repeated. "My master make sure no one hear nothing outside these doors."  
  
Remus nodded, munching on the fresh fruit she'd managed to steal from the kitchen.  
  
As his heart returned to its regular beat, he asked, "What is your name?"  
  
"Lucy," came her high-pitched reply.  
  
"Lucy. I don't think I've ever thanked you. You have been very kind to me."  
  
At that Lucy squealed in delight.  
  
Poor house-elf, he thought, he could only imagine how she was treated. Obviously she didn't receive compliments very often.  
  
"No one hear nothing in these rooms," she repeated, leaving as quickly as she had come.  
  
Remus scratched his head. Why had she told him that again? Did she suspect he was planning to escape? Whatever the reason, having silencing charms on the room could only work to his advantage as the wolf attempted to break free. Resigned to his fate, he sank back into a slumber, fearful of the dreams that awaited him.  
  
As the morning of the full moon dawned, the wolf was restless. If Remus had any serious thoughts of sacrificing himself so as not to put others at risk from the wolf, they were far from his mind now. The wolf was taking over. The wolf was pacing, endlessly, around the small room, staring up at the window, growling. He wanted out and he wanted out badly. There would be no stopping him.  
  
Remus had struggled with the decision to escape as the wolf when he thought the choice might still be his to make. Clearly, that was not the case. Instead, he tried focusing his thoughts on channeling the wolf's energy into making a clean break and running as far away from wherever he was as possible. He begged the wolf to stick to the forests and avoid wide open spaces. To stay away from humans. He really didn't know how much influence he'd have over the wolf, although he guessed it would probably be close to none. Still, he had to do something. His mind raced with all of the things that could go wrong. What if someone was there with him when the transformation began? What if someone came in as he was breaking out? What if someone was outside guarding this place. What if? What if? What if?  
  
His ranting and raving only provoked the wolf, making him more agitated and angry. Resignedly, he submitted to the reality that very shortly, he would have no control over anything at all. Soon, the wolf would take over and he, Remus, would be at its mercy. The only reassuring thought he had was that the wolf survived purely on instinct. He could sense danger and would avoid it at all cost, unless he thought he was up to the task of taking it on. And no one, he reminded himself, would be looking for a wolf; they'd be looking for a man. At least if they discovered he'd escaped that night. If not, then hopefully the wolf would have gotten far enough away that they wouldn't be looking for the man wherever he ended up the next day. It was a frightening prospect giving himself over to the wolf, but there was no other choice.  
  
Sirius sat in his study that night in complete darkness, watching the full moon rise in the sky. Moony, where are you? If he'd had the slightest idea where he might be, he'd go as Padfoot and try to find him. But he could be anywhere; he could be dead.  
  
He remembered all the times that the Marauders spent together at Hogwarts, gallivanting through the Forbidden Forest at night, Padfoot and Prongs keeping Moony in check. That little rat, Peter, just hung on for the ride, as always. He remembered how different it was when he spent the first full moon with Remus after he'd escaped from Azkaban. Under the influence of the Wolfsbane potion, the wolf had been subdued, content to curl up and lie in front of fire. Surprised, Padfoot had curled up next to him, amazed at the difference. What he wouldn't give to do that tonight––to lie in front of the fire with his pack mate, knowing that he was safe and sound.  
  
No one had come so far that day, and if he was lucky, no one would. He could feel the transformation beginning as his skin tingled and his muscles burned. Looking down at his hands to watch the fur sprout, he noticed the gold band on his finger. A feeling of panic shot through him. Normally, he'd take off his ring and leave it in a safe place until morning. Obviously, that wasn't an option. Clenching his teeth against the pain as the transformation came ever nearer, he did the only thing he could think of; he swallowed it.  
  
The wolf burst out with a vengeance the likes of which he hadn't known in years. It paced wildly around the room, surveying its cage, studying the window. It clawed at the concrete and growled viciously, a glint of determination it its golden eyes. In a single bound it leapt ferociously at the window, its head down like a buck ramming a tree. The pane shattered easily under the force of the wolf who was now impaled mid-abdomen on the frame. Its front paws dug into the dirt while its back legs clawed fiercely at the concrete wall, trying to get a hold and push its way free. In a matter of seconds, it had cleared the window and was running towards the woods, glass shards embedded in its abdomen. The glow of the full moon illuminated the landscape. The wolf was free.  
  
Hermione lay in bed that night, doubled over with cramps like she'd never had before. The pain was piercing and constant. Normally she would have gone to Madam Pomfrey for something, but tonight, somehow, it seemed right. Tonight was the full moon and she could only imagine what Remus was going through. In her own way, she was suffering with him, hoping and praying that they both made it through the night. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Recovery  
  
Hermione awoke late that morning, feeling a bit nauseous and thoroughly exhausted. She knew she needed to study, but she couldn't study like this. There were only three more days until N.E.W.T.s. Reluctantly, she visited Madam Pomfrey, who was very happy to see her for some reason that Hermione couldn't understand. After explaining her symptoms, Madam Pomfrey asked, "Why didn't you come to me sooner, dear?" Hermione just shook her head. Madam Pomfrey gave her a potion to drink and told her to rest until noon, at which time she should be well enough to study.  
  
As she laid back down in bed, she thought about Remus. If he was still alive, he'd be a man again. Remus, please come back to me. I need you. She pulled out one of the last letters he'd written her and gave herself over to the happy memories, hoping against hope that they'd be able to make more some day. As Madam Pomfrey's potion took over, she drifted off to sleep.  
  
Harry and Ron were pouring over their notes over sandwiches as she arrived in the Great Hall for lunch.  
  
"You okay, Hermione? You look awful?" Ron said with a mouthful of food.  
  
"Thanks, Ron, it's great to see you too."  
  
"You do look like you've felt better in your life," Harry added a bit timidly.  
  
"I had a rough night. I did see Madam Pomfrey this morning though and she gave me something to make me feel better."  
  
When their concerned gazes did not relent, she leaned in and whispered, "It's girl stuff."  
  
At that, they both abruptly turned their eyes away from hers to focus on their food, red color rising in her cheeks.  
  
She laughed. Men, she thought. Wait until they have wives and daughters.  
  
As Monday morning approached, Hermione was incredibly nervous about her first N.E.W.T. in Transfiguration. Her and Harry had practiced turning paper clips into butterflies one last time on Sunday night before turning in for the evening, but she couldn't help being distracted. Try as she might, she could not get Remus off her mind.  
  
The written exam took up the whole morning, while the practical portion would be done in the afternoon. Leaving the exam hall that afternoon, she was relieved at how well it had gone. There was only one question on the written exam she was unsure of, but checking her notes later, she'd gotten it right. Her proctor for the practical portion had complimented her on her superb abilities and given her top marks as far as she could tell. Harry seemed a bit less confident about his performance. He accidentally turned his goblet into a toad instead of a hare, but did manage to get it right on the second try.  
  
"One down, five to go," Ron said, looking as though he had been sentenced to his death.  
  
"You'll do fine," Hermione said absently, picking at her food. Four more days and N.E.W.T.s would be over. Four more days and she'd graduate and leave Hogwarts forever.  
  
"Good evening, Margarie, how are you?"  
  
"Fine, Emma, and you?"  
  
"Couldn't be better. Oh, by the way, there's a handsome young man asking for you on the Imina Jergins Ward," Emma said, winking at her.  
  
"Really? Who is he?" Margarie's heart started beating faster.  
  
"Couldn't say. Some unidentified wizard that was brought in unconscious a few days ago. He awoke early this morning for a brief period and all he would say was your name."  
  
Margarie tried to look preoccupied with adjusting her uniform. "Hmm... how old did you say he was?"  
  
"Well, we don't know really, but I'd guess maybe early twenties."  
  
Margarie's heart sank. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well I guess I'll just have to go see for myself. Hopefully I'll be able to identify him. I'm sure his family's going mad over his absence."  
  
As soon as Emma left, Margarie dashed off to the ward. The Imina Jergins ward was a recovery unit; patients usually arrived there after being treated for serious injuries or traumas. Surely this could not be the man she was looking for; the man she was looking for could not pass for a wizard in his early twenties. Still, he had asked for her by name. Intrigued, she sought out the Healer working the ward.  
  
"Margarie!" a warm voice called to her. "We've been waiting for you! The wizard in bed four has been asking for you all morning and we are dying to put a name to that handsome face of his," the older Healer said as if she knew something Margarie didn't.  
  
Margarie studied the young man sleeping in the bed. It can't be him, she thought to herself. His hair was golden brown, not a trace of gray. His face was barely lined. He had a beard and mustache, although, considering he'd been missing for a month, that would be possible. And he was very, very thin, too thin, she thought.  
  
She picked up the chart next to his bed. According to it, he'd been found by a witch out searching for lichens in a remote wooded area north of Surrey. Odd, she thought to herself, he was found the morning after the full moon. Quickly, she scanned the rest of the chart. "Unidentified wizard, approximately 18 years old." Emma was right, looks more like early twenties to me. "Condition Upon Arrival: Unconscious; suffering from severe blood loss due to a severed abdominal artery, dehydration, starvation, broken bones, the after affects of being cursed... The list went on and on. Is that all? Margarie thought to herself as she studied his chart, shaking her head. Poor thing.  
  
"Margarie?"  
  
She jerked her head up to meet his gaze. There was no mistaking those haunted, gray eyes.  
  
"Remus! I didn't recognize you. You look so–– so young. And you've grown a beard."  
  
She moved swiftly to his side and grasped his hand. "We've been worried sick about you!"  
  
Remus tried to sit up but gritted his teeth as the pain and groaned.  
  
"Just try and relax," Margarie soothed, fluffing the pillows beneath him. "Broken ribs, they take a bit to heal, even for someone like you."  
  
He closed his eyes, his breathing labored from the effort.  
  
"Rest, Remus, I'll be back as soon as I can. I need to send word. I'm so glad you're are all right," she said, kissing him on the forehead before rushing out of the room.  
  
Margarie hurried to the admitting area of St. Mungo's hospital. Carrying a clipboard, she stopped in front of the portrait of Dilys Derwent. She mumbled to herself as she made notes on her clipboard. Seeing that Dilys was now paying full attention to her, she leaned in closer and whispered, "He's here." She then finished her note and sent it off with one of the urgent delivery owls.  
  
Sirius sat absently in front of the fire. He had barely slept in days. The only good thing about that was that his mind was nearly numb from exhaustion. He couldn't remember the last time he ate or showered. Feeling the hair on his face, he figured it had been awhile. No one from the Order had been to headquarters in over a week.  
  
Just then he heard the unmistakable cough of Phineas Nigellus. Looking around the room, Sirius saw him lounging in a landscape waiting to be noticed. Sirius jumped up. "What is it?"  
  
"Wallowing in your self pity again? It's quite unbecoming you know. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a sullen teenager." Phineas's droned as Sirius gave him a dirty look. "The headmaster sent me to deliver a message. It seems your friend has turned up at St. Mungo's."  
  
"REMUS?" Sirius cried in disbelief? "How is he?"  
  
"How should I know?" Phineas rolled his eyes and disappeared from the landscape.  
  
It was almost 9 pm that Thursday evening when he arrived. The line at the admitting desk was short. He waited patiently as an ornery witch with thick glasses called him to the front of the line.  
  
"I'm hear to see Healer Margarie Dawes."  
  
"Please have a seat, I'll alert her to your arrival," the witch's nasally voice rang.  
  
Margarie rushed up to him, "Professor Dumbledore! It's a pleasure to see you."  
  
"And you as well, Miss Dawes."  
  
She blushed, "Please, call me Margarie. We aren't in school anymore," she laughed.  
  
"I received word from Dilys as well as your owl. I appreciate your thoroughness."  
  
"Well, I'm just sorry I didn't contact you sooner. He actually came in last Friday," she said as they walked towards the Imina Jergins ward. "I've been watching the registry faithfully for any unidentified wizards, and I did see him come through, but it said he was 18 years old, and it never occurred to me that he might be mistaken for someone so young." She watched nervously as Dumbledore plaited a strand of his beard.  
  
"Indeed," he nodded, seeming to realize something. "I should have thought to mention that to you."  
  
"Mention what?"  
  
Brushing her question aside, he asked, "So how is he?"  
  
"Well, he was in terrible shape when he got here, but they've patched him up pretty well." She went on to tell him about the condition he was found in, the treatments that had been administered, and that he would make a full recovery.  
  
"If it wasn't for his eyes, I wouldn't have recognized him," she finished.  
  
Remus awoke to see an old man sitting next to him, studying something intently in his hand. As the realization sank in through the fog, he tried to sit up. He felt a gentle but firm hand come to rest upon his shoulder.  
  
"Relax, my son." Professor Dumbledore's voice was warm and comforting. Remus hadn't spoken with him alone since he brought Hermione back to the castle. The look in Dumbledore's eyes, though, was full of compassion and concern, nothing like the look of betrayal and disappointment that had been there before.  
  
"I believe this is yours," Dumbledore said, handing over the object he'd been studying. To Remus's amazement, Dumbledore placed a familiar looking gold band in the palm of Remus's hand. "I do believe I know of a young woman beside herself with worry at this very moment. I am sure Miss Granger will be thrilled to hear of your miraculous return." He gave Remus a moment to let his words sink in, a knowing twinkle in eyes. "As would I."  
  
Remus slipped the ring back on his finger, a sense of calm settling over his aching body. He reeled with the knowledge that not only did Dumbledore somehow know about his continued relationship with Hermione, but it seemed as though he was giving them his blessing. I'll be damned, Remus thought to himself, astonished by the turn of events.  
  
Sirius sat in front of the fire, showered and shaved, eagerly awaiting word from Dumbledore. His mind had been running wild with possible scenarios as to how Remus escaped and what condition he was in. It was a week after the full moon. He couldn't help but wonder what happened during that transformation.  
  
It was almost 1 am when Sirius heard the door open; he had been dozing on the couch. He jumped up and sighed with relief as Remus came through the door, followed by Dumbledore. Remus looked thin and exhausted. Sirius grabbed him in a bear hug.  
  
"Easy mate," Remus's voice sounded pained.  
  
"Moony, I'm so sorry, I should never have left you."  
  
Remus just smiled and shook his head, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"You never change, do you Padfoot? Always blaming yourself."  
  
"You should talk," Sirius joked.  
  
As the three of them sat around the fire, Remus explained everything he could remember about the Death Eaters. There wasn't much to tell, though. He hadn't recognize any of the wizards, nor did he know where he had been held. Having no memory in the wolf's body, he couldn't describe the area he'd ran through when he escaped.  
  
Dumbledore, picking up on Remus's feelings of uselessness, added that some Order members would be returning to the site where he was found to see if they could trace their way back to where he had escaped from.  
  
Remus cringed. Without it being said, he knew what they would be looking for; his blood. The blood from when he had impaled himself on the window upon his escape.  
  
The one bit of information that Remus had that he thought might be useful was Lucy. Dumbledore was intrigued by this bit of information and said he would check the house-elf registry, as well as speak to Dobby, Winky, and the other Hogwarts house-elves to see if they knew of her. Sirius said he'd talk to Kreecher as well.  
  
Remus had a more pressing concern, though. Taking a deep breath, he asked the question that had been haunting him since he'd awoken in St. Mungo's. "Did I– Did the wolf–" he swallowed, fear coursing through him at what he might have done.  
  
"There have been no reports of injured or missing wizards or Muggles since the full moon." Dumbledore's voice was reassuring.  
  
Remus nodded, still looking at the floor, and breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
After Dumbledore had left, Sirius prepared the healing potion for Remus that the St. Mungo's Healer had sent home with him. Sirius helped Remus to bed, noticing the pained expression scrawled across his face. Handing Remus the potion, he sat down next to him.  
  
"Moony, are those bruises and broken bones from the wolf?" Sirius asked, holding his breath.  
  
Remus didn't meet Sirius's eyes as he shook his head.  
  
"Dammit! I knew it! What did they do to you Moony?"  
  
Sirius watched as Remus eyes snapped shut, his hands clenching into fists. Remus just shook his head, gritting his teeth.  
  
"I'll kill those bastards if I ever find out who did this to you!" Regaining control, Sirius put his arm around Remus's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Moony."  
  
Remus took a deep breath and squeezed Sirius's hand momentarily. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Sirius, but I do need to rest."  
  
Sirius nodded and got up to leave.  
  
As Remus drifted off to sleep, he could hear Sirius's words echoing in the distance, "My god, Moony, I almost lost you. Never again."  
  
Remus awoke in the early morning hours to the sound of snoring. He looked over to see Sirius sprawled out on the overstuffed chair in the corner of his room. Remus smiled, laughing to himself. If he hadn't been so exhausted, he'd have gotten up and told Sirius to go to bed. Nevertheless, he appreciated knowing that Sirius was worried about him. 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Endless Journey  
  
It was finally Friday, the last day of N.E.W.T.s. Hermione sat quietly reviewing her answers for her final exam, History of Magic. "Five more minutes," the proctor announced. She'd done all she could. Shaking her head, she set down her quill. It wasn't her best effort, but she was sure she'd still pass.  
  
As the students filed out of the exam room, Hermione saw Professor McGonagall standing in the doorway. Her lips were pursed, her face ashen. Hermione's heart fell.  
  
"Miss Granger, please come with me."  
  
Hermione didn't know where Professor McGonagall was leading her, but it couldn't be good. She fought fruitlessly to keep her tears at bay.  
  
"What is it?" Hermione finally asked, her voice shaking, as they arrived at Professor McGonagall's office.  
  
"Please, have a seat. Would you like some tea?"  
  
Hermione shook her head.  
  
Professor McGonagall handed her a letter. "This arrived first thing this morning."  
  
Minerva,  
  
I have called an urgent meeting at Headquarters for this afternoon.  
Your presence is requested. Please bring Miss Granger as this concerns  
her as well.  
  
Albus  
  
Hermione closed her tear-laden eyes. This is it, she thought to herself. She felt Professor McGonagall's hand rubbing her shoulder.  
  
"Here, dear, drink this, it will help calm your nerves."  
  
As Hermione looked into McGonagall's eyes, she saw that McGonagall was clearly as nervous about the upcoming meeting as she was. Hermione put her head in her hands and sobbed. All she could see was Remus's naked, mutilated body; just like Alicia Greenberg's had been.  
  
It was almost 11 am when Sirius woke Remus with a tray of breakfast and a steaming mug of healing potion.  
  
"Sorry, Moony, time to get up. Dumbledore will be here in an hour, as will the rest of the Order."  
  
Remus rolled over and groaned. "I feel like I fell off a broomstick from 150 feet up in the air."  
  
Sirius helped Remus sit up.  
  
"How's Hermione?" Remus asked.  
  
Sirius had a mischievous glint in his eyes, "I was just speaking to Dumbledore about that situation."  
  
"Really?" Remus said, raising his eyebrows.  
  
As Remus showered that day, he got the first real look at himself. The outside of his body had healed rather well, but his insides ached. The healing potion was helping, but he had had so many injuries, it would take a while before he felt like himself again, even with the wolf's incredible healing abilities. His chest was bruised and, taking a deep breath, he felt like his chest was on fire as his lungs inflated against his broken ribs. The gash in his stomach was healing well, but looked terrible nonetheless. Pulling his eyes away from his body he looked into the still steamy mirror, noticing how much younger he looked. His hair was golden and his face, although weary, was less lined. He laughed. So much for the aging potion, I don't know why I bother. By now everyone has seen me oscillating between old and young, I might as well just give up the charade. He shaved and dressed and headed downstairs to meet the masses.  
  
Hermione still felt a bit dizzy as her feet landed on solid ground. Traveling by port key was a bit disconcerting. As she and Professor McGonagall concentrated on 12 Grimmauld Place, they saw the house squeeze itself in-between the two adjacent houses, a space in which there shouldn't have been room. Hermione was shaking as Professor McGonagall quietly opened the front door so as not disturb the portrait of Mrs. Black. Professor Dumbledore and several other members of the Order were sitting around the common room, discussing various bits of information. Hermione didn't recognize many of them, but she saw Sirius Black in the corner who raised his head and nodded at her solemnly.  
  
"Miss Granger, I'm glad you could join us." The headmaster's voice rang through the air. "Would you mind waiting in the kitchen while we finish up some last minute business here?"  
  
Professor McGonagall looked anxious, but nodded to Hermione.  
  
It was bad enough that she had to be here to receive what she was sure to be terrible news, but to have to wait even longer, alone, was more than she could bear. As tears filled her eyes, Hermione headed for the kitchen.  
  
Harry and Ron relaxed in the Gryffindor Common Room over a game of wizard's chess after completing their N.E.W.T.s. The rain beat hard against the windows.  
  
"Nothing we can do about it now, mate," Ron bemoaned. "Hey, where's Hermione?"  
  
"I don't know. I thought her last exam was this morning," Harry said, considering his next move.  
  
"So have you figured it out yet?"  
  
"Figured what out?" Harry asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he studied the chess pieces.  
  
"Who this mysterious man is that Hermione's in love with."  
  
"No, but I take it you have some ideas." Harry said, rolling his eyes at Ron.  
  
"Well, it had to be after me, right? So who else did she seem interested in at the end of sixth year? There was that Scott Philky, a Ravenclaw, who was after her. And he was a seventh year, so he'd have graduated already."  
  
Harry shook his head. "I don't think so. I mean, I know he was interested in her, but I never got the impression that she had the least bit of interest in him. Besides, I think Ginny said he was dating someone else by the end of last year." Harry carefully made his next move.  
  
"You know what I think is odd," Ron continued, "Why didn't he come to the Spring Ball? I mean, it wouldn't matter if he didn't go to school here." Ron made his next move. "Unless he was a Muggle!" Ron looked expectantly at Harry.  
  
"If he was a Muggle, he wouldn't be using owl post. Not to mention, when would she have met a Muggle? She spent all summer hidden away like us. And besides, Hermione's too smart to hook up with a boring, old Muggle."  
  
As those words left his mouth, something occurred to Harry. He quickly ran through a mental checklist in his head. When had they noticed the change in her? After summer. Who had she spent the summer with? Who couldn't she bring to the Ball? Her secrecy. Her final project in potions. Her conflict with Snape. Snape's hatred of the Mauraders. His disappearance. The Death Eaters. The Order. Sirius's letter to her. Sirius's silence with Harry.  
  
"Harry, it's your turn," Ron said before he caught the shocked look on Harry's face. "Harry, what is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
"Ron, we have to contact the Order. RIGHT NOW!"  
  
Harry ran out of Gryffindor tower, Ron on his tail.  
  
"Harry, slow down, what is it?"  
  
"I have to be wrong, please tell me I'm wrong," Harry muttered to himself, running towards Dumbledore's office.  
  
Professor Sprout was walking by when Harry and Ron arrived, out of breath.  
  
"Professor, we need to see the Headmaster immediately. Do you know the password?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, he left late yesterday evening, some urgent business to attend to."  
  
Harry looked anxiously at Ron. Professor McGonagall. They raced towards her office. When no one answered, they headed to the staff room. Professor Flitwick informed them that Professor McGonagall had left earlier that afternoon.  
  
"Harry, will you please tell me what's going on!" Ron begged, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"No, not yet. I want to make sure I'm right."  
  
Ron rolled his eyes.  
  
"Who else is in the Order, Ron, that we can talk to?" "THINK!" Harry said, as much to himself as to Ron.  
  
"Sirius?" Ron offered.  
  
Harry shook his head. "Order Headquarters is not on the flu network anymore, too dangerous, and an owl would be too slow."  
  
Snape was out of the question, there was no need to bring him up.  
  
Harry and Ron's eyes met at the same time, "HAGRID!"  
  
They raced across the castle lawn to Hagrid's hut, pounding madly on the door. "HAGRID! HAGRID are you in there?!?"  
  
Hagrid opened the door as Harry and Ron burst in.  
  
"Well, hello ter yer too!" Hagrid called over his shoulder to them, looking bewildered.  
  
"Hagrid," Harry was doubled over fighting a cramp in his side. "Hagrid, I need you to tell me something about the Order." Harry panted, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Well, I will if I can."  
  
"Hagrid, did something happen to one of its members? Did one of the members get captured by Death Eaters?"  
  
Hagrid shifted uncomfortably at the question. Ron looked confused and wished Harry would hurry up and tell him what was going on.  
  
"Well, I ain't supposed ter talk about it, yer know."  
  
Harry waved his hand, still bent over, "It doesn't matter. I know who it is. It's Professor Lupin."  
  
Ron's mouth dropped and Hagrid's face looked ashen.  
  
"I'm afr'd so," Hagrid said, shaking his head. "Fine man, he was. Always real nice ter me–"  
  
Harry's head flew up. "WAS?" Harry gasped. "Is he dead?"  
  
"Well, we jus' don' know. But I 'spect he is, after all, those Death Eaters aren't very friendly." Hagrid said, shaking his head. "Why don't yer sit down, I'll make some tea," he said.  
  
"Professor Lupin," Ron parroted, still looking dazed and confused, shaking his head. Slowly, the comprehension dawned across Ron's face. "HERMIONE!"  
  
Harry just nodded, his head in his hands. Professor Lupin had been the best DADA teacher they'd ever had, not to mention Sirius and his father's best friend.  
  
Hermione looked around the empty kitchen, her vision blurred. She closed her eyes and shut the door, leaning her forehead against the cool wood, feeling the tears slide down her cheeks. She remembered the last time she was in this house. She'd spent the latter part of the summer after her fifth year here with Harry and the Weasleys and Sirius. And, Remus had been there too, of course, she recalled, stifling a sob.  
  
She jumped as two hands slid along her waist from behind. She spun around to find gray eyes smiling down at her.  
  
"REMUS, YOU'RE ALIVE!" She threw her arms around him with wild abandon. He flinched involuntarily beneath her strong embrace. She released him immediately, a fresh wave of panic washing over her face.  
  
"Gentle, my love," he whispered in her ear; not letting her go.  
  
"You're injured!" she cried.  
  
"Shhh... I'll be fine," he said, stroking her hair, trying to calm her fears.  
  
"But what happened? What did they do to you?"  
  
The fear he saw in her eyes made his heart sink. "Hermione, love, I'm here now, that's all that matters..." He barely caught her as she collapsed to the floor, sobbing.  
  
"I thought you were dead."  
  
Me too, he thought to himself, though he'd never admit that to her.  
  
"I– I thought they'd killed you!"  
  
She cried against his chest as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. "Hermione. Sweet, sweet, Hermione. I promised you I'd wait for you, didn't I?"  
  
She looked up at him. He smiled warmly at her. Gently, he cupped his hands around her face and kissed away her tears. "My love, how I missed you." Ever so slowly, he worked his way to her lips, brushing them softly with his. He traced the sensuous ridges of her lips with his tongue before kissing her gently, not wanting to scare her. He felt a warm, tingling sensation spread through his body as his tongue met hers. He felt her breathing even out as he kissed her. He sighed, relieved to be with the woman he loved, the woman he'd almost lost forever. He cringed at the thought. She was the only thing that'd kept him alive, that had given him the will to survive, to keep fighting. Without her, he would have given up.  
  
Gently, he laid her back on the kitchen floor. He gazed into her brown eyes, "Hermione, I love you more than you could ever know." He felt a great weight being lifted away as the radiant smile she saved only for him finally spread across her beautiful face. He knew what he'd been through this last month; he could only imagine the torture she'd endured wondering whether he was alive or dead. She pulled him to her then and he felt the desire that always came in her presence as she ran her hands across his back, kissing him desperately.  
  
"I love you too, Remus, I love you too."  
  
"Hermione," he finally said, slowly breaking their kiss and glancing towards the kitchen door.  
  
"Oh!" Hermione quickly sat up.  
  
Remus put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, no one will interrupt us."  
  
She looked at him bewildered.  
  
"They are waiting for us though," Remus continued, "And as much as I'd rather stay her and kiss you all day, we really should join the others."  
  
"But I thought there was a meeting?" she asked confused.  
  
"There is, it's the Remus Lupin Welcome Home Party meeting."  
  
"I see," she said, smiling with obvious relief.  
  
"I think," he said conspiratorially, "that this is Dumbledore's way of letting me know that he still has faith in me. However, if we stay in here all day, I fear I may be testing that faith."  
  
Hermione giggled.  
  
Slowly getting to his feet, he took her hand and opened the door to great cheers.  
  
Professor McGonagall rushed forward and hugged Remus. "I'm so glad you're all right, dear," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.  
  
"Me too, Minerva" he whispered so that only she could hear him.  
  
Stepping back, McGonagall put a hand on each of their shoulders, "I'm so happy for the both of you."  
  
Hermione nodded, feeling the heat creep up her face as everyone watched them. She did feel like a young school girl just then, standing next to Remus, giddy and embarrassed.  
  
McGonagall and Dumbledore said their good-byes, making sure to remind Remus and Sirius to return Hermione safely to the castle before the End of Year Feast began. When everyone else had left, Hermione leaned against Remus, her head on his shoulder. Sirius was relating some story about their youth and a particularly good joke they'd played on Snape. Hermione couldn't help but take pleasure at Snape's misfortune considering how he'd treated her this past year.  
  
Snape. Suddenly, she sat up, looking anxiously between Sirius and Remus. "Snape said he set you up," Hermione said to Remus, a look of realization on her face.  
  
Remus smiled gently and shook his head. "No, he didn't. He was just trying to get a rise out of you."  
  
"But how can you be so sure?" She noticed the pained look in his eyes.  
  
"He wishes he could take credit for it," Sirius said, not trying to hiding the contempt in his voice.  
  
"Believe me, if he'd known where I was, he'd have been the first to come get me. Not because he care's about what happens to me, but because Dumbledore is very angry with him right now, and he'd do just about anything to get back on his good side," Remus said, pulling her back against him and gently stroking her hair.  
  
"Ahh, but Hermione," Sirius's voice rang with a new fervor, "I think you have out done us all when it comes to Snape."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"We heard what you did to Snape." Sirius was grinning madly. "Oh how I'd have loved to seen his face––in more ways than one," he snickered, looking at Remus.  
  
"What, that I slapped him? He deserved it!" Righteous anger rose inside of her.  
  
Sirius and Remus exchanged glances.  
  
Remus cleared his throat to get her attention. Looking into her eyes, he said with a sly smile on his face, "It seems, my love, that no one mentioned to you that that little slap you gave Professor Snape just so happened to fracture two bones in his face. Madam Pomfrey was most delighted."  
  
Hermione looked between Remus and Sirius. "You're joking."  
  
"Remind me never to make you angry," Remus said as he held her tighter, kissing her forehead.  
  
"Yeah, me too!" said Sirius. Getting down on his knees, he added with mock trepidation, "I beg your forgiveness for anytime I may have offended you."  
  
At that, Hermione giggled and looked back at Remus. She felt her stomach drop. His eyes were smoky and longing. She closed the gap between them, melting into his arms as their lips met. They both laughed as they heard Sirius leave the room, grumbling to himself. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Promises, Promises**

"It'd be almost funny if it weren't so serious," Ron said to Harry as they walked back to the castle.

"I know," said Harry. Harry now had three people to worry about; Remus, who was obviously in grave danger, Hermione, who was deeply in love with Remus, and Sirius, Remus's best friend, who surely would not be taking Remus's loss lightly. _Why didn't Sirius tell me? _But he knew the answer to that. It was so close to exams, Sirius wouldn't have wanted to worry him. He shook his head sadly. That's why Sirius had stopped writing, and why Hermione had given him that pained look when he'd complained about it. What had been a glorious day marking the end of exams and graduation had quickly become one of worst days of his life. The thought of losing yet another person he cared about was overwhelming.

As they climbed up the castle stairs, they ran into Professor Flitwick. "Professor McGonagall is in her office if you still need to speak to her."

Harry and Ron took one look at each other and raced to her office.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, please come in."

They noticed that she had a particularly pleased look on her face, not the tight, stern expression she usually wore. Even her voice sounded more cheery.

"Professor McGonagall, we know about Professor Lupin," Ron blurted out.

McGonagall looked between Ron and Harry. "And what is it that you think you know?" Her voice and facial expression returned to normal as she asked this question.

Harry cleared his throat. "Well, we know that Professor Lupin has been captured by Death Eaters," Ron swallowed loudly at this pronouncement, "And we know about Hermione and Professor Lupin. Being together, I mean."

"And we can't find Hermione," Ron bemoaned. "We're worried about her. And we wanted to lend our support, now that we know."

"And we're worried about Professor Lupin too," Harry added as Ron nodded in agreement.

The smile crept back across Professor McGonagall's face. "Well, I can assure you that Hermione is just fine. And, Professor Lupin has been found and is recovering quite nicely as we speak."

Harry and Ron exchanged glances. "Does Hermione know?" they asked in harmony.

Professor McGonagall laughed. "Yes, she's with him right now. But don't worry, I'm sure she'll be delighted to speak with you at this evening's feast."

Although it was a relatively warm day in June, Remus had lit the fire for old time's sake as they snuggled together on the couch.

"Hermione…"

She loved the way his voice wrapped around the syllables of her name.

"I have something for you. I was going to wait until you'd _officially _graduated, but after everything that's happened…" he trailed off. "Well, there's no time like the present."

She sat up, watching him curiously. He had a mysterious glint in his eyes.

He reached inside his robes before taking her hand in his as he slid off the couch to kneel in front of her. He watched as her eyes grew larger.

"Hermione Granger, would you do me the honor of marrying me?"

She gasped as he held out a gorgeous, antique-looking gold ring with a delicate diamond in the middle surrounded by tiny sapphires, emeralds, and rubies.

"Yes, Remus, yes I will marry you," she whispered, her wide eyes filling with joyful tears, her hands shaking.

He slipped the promise ring over her finger. "This ring has been in my family for generations. My mother, bless her heart, always hoped I'd meet a wonderful woman that I could give it to. I never thought I'd be so lucky." With that, he swept her into his arms. "She would have loved you, Hermione. Both of my parents would have," he said before kissing her deeply.

They talked about many things in the intervening hour. Hermione tried desperately to steer the conversation in a certain direction, but without much success. Finally, looking into his gray eyes, she said what had been on her mind all afternoon.

"You look so young."

He shifted slightly, looking uncomfortable.

As he opened his mouth to explain, she laid her fingers on his lips. "I know why, Remus. I figured it out after the Spring Ball. It all made so much sense after that."

Remus looked at her in amazement. "I should have known you'd figure it out, such a smart woman."

"You know," Hermione said, looking bashful, "I was thinking maybe we could grow old together." She paused for just a moment, "I kind of like looking the same age."

She startled as the expression on Remus's face turned from amusement to anguish. "What is it?"

When he didn't respond, she suddenly understood. "I'm sorry, Remus, that was quite selfish of me. I had no right to ask you to–" but his fingers touched her lips this time, stopping her mid-sentence.

Remus shook his head, tears in his eyes. "You are the most unselfish person I've every met," he whispered. "It's not that, I look forward to growing old together with you. It's just that I will live so much longer than you, and the thought of losing you––"

Hermione took his face in her hands. "Remus, neither of us has any idea how long we will live. Besides, when my time comes, if you want to join me, I'm sure that can be arranged. But, please, I can't bear to think about that now, I just got you back..."

He smiled slightly, leaning forward to kiss her, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Took you long enough," was Sirius's comment as he hugged both Remus and Hermione in turn.

"I do hate to break up the happy couple, but we did promise Dumbledore we would have Cinderella back to the castle in time for the Ball," Sirius said, winking at Hermione who blushed at his words.

As Hermione entered the Great Hall, Dumbledore was clearing his throat to get the students' attention. Seeing her hurrying to her seat, both Dumbledore and McGonagall smiled at her, a twinkle in their eyes. _Oh, to be young again, _she could practically hear them saying. She blushed, smiling, as she sat down next to Ginny, her hands clasped in her lap. Ron and Harry were staring anxiously at her from across the table. The students quieted as the headmaster commended the students for successfully completing another year and wished the graduating seventh year students an exciting and fulfilling future.

After Dumbledore had sat down and food starting filling the plates, Ron and Harry exchanged knowing glances and looked at Hermione.

"What?" she asked, still not able to wipe the smile off her face.

"We know." They said in harmony.

"Know what?"

"We know about you and Professor Lupin," Harry said. Hermione's eyes got very wide as she looked around the table to see if anyone else had heard, before turning to Ginny.

"We figured it out," said Ron proudly. "Well, actually, Harry figured it out."

"It's about time!" Ginny chimed in.

"And we are very happy for you." Harry said as Ron nodded. Hermione smiled genuinely at them. "Thank you, that means a lot to me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was just afraid that–" But she stopped speaking as a collective gasp burst from her three best friends.

"What?" she said, as she set back down the goblet of pumpkin juice she had just picked up. Her face grew warm as she realized they were looking between the ring on her finger and her face. "Oh, yes, well, I guess it's definite now, isn't it?"

Harry and Ron cheered as Ginny gave her a hug.

Just then Dean Thomas joined the conversation. "What's all the fuss?"

"Ginny just told us you got engaged," Harry said jokingly. But from the sudden electrically charged air, the look on Dean's face, and the way Ginny's mouth fell open, Harry soon realized there was something more to his statement than he had intended.

"I WAS JUST KIDDING!" Harry said quickly.

Dean recovered, and Ginny laughed, patting Dean's white-knuckled hand on her shoulder. The tension broken, they began to eat. Hermione leaned over and whispered in Ginny's ear, "Looks like I'm not the only one who's been keeping secrets."

It was Ginny's turn to turn a bright shade of red.

_A/N: A sequel to this story, Loves Lies Bleeding, can be found at www . adultfanfiction . net (no spaces, it won't let me list the link here). Specify that you are indeed 18 years of age or older, select Harry Potter, then Search "Authors" and "chrimsha", then select chrmisha and it will show my stories. Enjoy!_


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